


wayward fucking sons

by donkatsu



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Bisexual Dean Winchester, GABRIEL IS THE YOUNGEST NOVAK IN THIS FIC, Gabriel is a slut, Multi, Please read, Romantic Comedy, Sam is a nerd, Texting, benny is VERY out of character but oh well, benny is best bro, benny will NOT be shipped with dean, but then again what masterpieces never have any problems, charlie and anna are relationship goals, dean is a kool kid, deans already out LMAO, first few chapters WILL suck, gabe and balth fight A LOT, idk - Freeform, kevin sam jack and gabriel are all in the same year, may be slow burn, maybe angst?, they might be out of character?, they're all juniors!! sam and kevin are supposed to be sophomores but they brains too big :(, we dont slutshame
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-05
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2020-04-08 03:24:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 13,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19098778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donkatsu/pseuds/donkatsu
Summary: ohsammyboy: Why are Gabriel and Balthazar Novak beating the shit out of each other in the schoolyardimpalameonastick: ????? where are you???? where r u watching is it a good spotohsammyboy: Upstairs, Chem labohsammyboy: Jesus Christ Gabriel just punched Balthazar in the groinimpalameonastick: FUCK WAIT I WANT OT SEE TOO IM ALMOST THEREhigh school au where i try to write them in as in character as i can but as high school students!! inspired by the skate fast eat ass series by cryptic_potato.





	1. dad's home

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [skate fast eat ass](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16289576) by [cryptic_potato](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cryptic_potato/pseuds/cryptic_potato). 



wayward fucking sons

members:

Dean Winchester (impalameonastick)

Sam Winchester (ohsammyboy)

wednesday, 10:33 PM

 

impalameonastick: bitch where the fuck is you

impalameonastick: are you still at that barry kid’s place

ohsammyboy: ? What do you mean? Why are you asking?

impalameonastick: why the fuck aren’t you home yet dad’s coming back soon

ohsammyboy: No, he’s not. Bobby said he’d be back tomorrow.

ohsammyboy: I was the one who reminded you this morning, jerk.

impalameonastick: NO, FOOL HE CALLED HOME AND LEFT A MESSAGE SAYING HE WOULD BE COMING ABCK BY 11 HURRY THE FUCK UP

ohsammyboy: Oh shit I have to pack everything and run, literally. Fuck

ohsammyboy: On my way!

impalameonastick: autocorrect

ohsammyboy: hsdut shtu th e fuk iup

 

beer bros

members:

Benny Lafitte (bennyten)

Dean Winchester (impalameonastick)

thursday, 1:02 AM

 

impalameonastick: dude u up

impalameonastick: ???

bennyten: i am now you bitch

bennyten: what do you want you woke me up

impalameonastick: LMAO dont even lie we both knew u were awake u fucking vampire

bennyten: shit we been knew

bennyten: what do you want??????

impalameonastick: dad came home early like 3 hours ago and i need hw answers

impalameonastick: bles

impalameonastick: mr walker is out for me but he likes u so much??? bitch

bennyten: (shrug emoji)

bennyten: k gimme a sec

bennyten has sent three photos.

impalameonastick: ugh tysm fhjakjfsals

bennyten:

bennyten: r u n your bro ok

bennyten: i kno how your dad is with u guys

impalameonastick: don’t worry lol im fine

impalameonastick: sammy n i are cooped up in my room bc dad’s reacquainting himself w the alcohol drawer

impalameonastick: yeah we'll be fine

impalameonastick: welp gtg my dad’s hollerin for me so i gtg dash

impalameonastick: later skaters

bennyten: ok. see u in class

bennyten: im always here for u bro just so you know

 

thursday, 2:34 AM

impalameonastick: i know.

 

novak empire

members:

Anna Novak (annaou)

Balthazar Novak (balthysaur)

Castiel Novak (catstiel)

Gabriel Novak (gibbydidntlikethat)

Michael Novak (michaeljackson)

Charlie Bradbury (letsgolesbians)

thursday, 11:23 AM

 

gibbydidntlikethat: full homo i would let that kid sam winchester bend me over and fuck me

catstiel: ???

balthysaur: im more for the older brother

balthysaur: have you sEEN his eyes?

gibbydidntlikethat: shut up bitch you’re adopted

gibbydidntlikethat: your taste in men is just as shitty as your accent

balthysaur: shut the fuck up you floppy haired bitch

gibbydidntlikethat: you’re just mad i get more sex than you

balthysaur: u sure about that?

letsgolesbians: guys,, i just want,, one calm lunch period. one (1) peaceful lunch where balthazar and gabe aren’t at each others throats

annaou: we were on a DATE you HEATHENS

gibbydidntlikethat: we apologize, o mighty lesbian kweens

catstiel: I didn’t do anything.

annaou: we didn’t say u did

letsgolesbians: we love u the most cas uwu

catstiel: :)

catstiel: Besides, isn’t Sam Winchester a junior?

michaeljackson: Sam Winchester is technically a sophomore. However, due to his stellar marks, he has been pushed up to Gabriel's year.

gibbydidntlikethat: ITS FAIR GAME

annaou: you slut

gibbydidntlikethat: not my fault i have such a great ass

gibbydidntlikethat: the ladies and the guys love me

balthysaur: LMAO stfu poutylipped bitch

gibbydidntlikethat: where the fuck are you. fucking square up.

letsgolesbians: guys no bles

balthysaur: fucking come at me in the schoolyard bitch by the weird ass tree

gibbydidntlikethat: imma beat your ass. get fucking ready

balthysaur: lmao u could try

 

wayward fucking sons

members:

Dean Winchester (impalameonastick)

Sam Winchester (ohsammyboy)

thursday, 11:36 AM

 

ohsammyboy: Why are Gabriel and Balthazar Novak beating the shit out of each other in the schoolyard

impalameonastick: ????? where are you???? where r u watching is it a good spot

ohsammyboy: Upstairs, Chem lab

ohsammyboy: Jesus Christ Gabriel just punched Balthazar in the groin

impalameonastick: FUCK WAIT I WANT OT SEE TOO IM ALMOST THERE

ohsammyboy: Lol one of their brothers just came out of nowhere with the most popular couple at school to stop them

ohsammyboy: Castiel, I think

impalameonastick: is it weird that i dont know who he is

impalameonastick: pretty sure i have like all my classes w him but i never really see him?? like i hear his name being called for roll call but i never really see him?

ohsammyboy: Dude I think Gabriel is going to win by the time you get here.

impalameonastick: NO WAIT


	2. attractive boys

beer bros

members:

Benny Lafitte (bennyboy)

Dean Winchester (impalameonastick)

thursday, 2:31 PM

 

impalameonastick: i cant believe i missed the fuckjng fight

impalameonastick: dude the chem labs are so far from the gyms

impalameonastick: is this the separation of nerds and jocks that is prevalent in our society

bennyboy: stfu n write your fucking spanish quiz

impalameonastick: :(

 

we hold this household together

members:

Castiel Novak (catstiel)

Michael Novak (michaeljackson)

thursday, 3:06 PM

 

michaeljackson: Will you be able to pick up Gabriel and Balthazar from detention later?

catstiel: Perhaps. When are they finished?

michaeljackson: Their detention ends at 5. Will that be fine?

catstiel: Let me check

catstiel: No.

catstiel: I have decathlon and then I have to go to the football meeting today after school

catstiel: We have a game coming up against the Red Horned Devils

michaeljackson: Damn your perfect schedule.

michaeljackson: Remind me why you became manager of the football team again? You don't even play the sport.

catstiel: I don't, but I'm gay

michaeljackson: I know that, but what does that have to do with anything?

catstiel: And the football team has some very attractive boys.

michaeljackson:

michaeljackson: I don't have anything to say to that.

catstiel: You don’t have to

michaeljackson: You've never attended one of these meetings though.

catstiel: That's why I'm going; Coach Rufus is making me come since he feels as if I don't "participate enough"

catstiel: Petty move.

michaeljackson: ...

michaeljackson: That means I will have to pick those buffoons up by myself.

catstiel: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

catstiel: Attractive. Boys.

 

novak empire

members:

Anna Novak (annaou)

Balthazar Novak (balthysaur)

Castiel Novak (catstiel)

Gabriel Novak (gibbydidntlikethat)

Michael Novak (michaeljackson)

Charlie Bradbury (letsgolesbians)

thursday, 6:01 PM

 

annaou: you idiots

annaou: complete and utter nincompoops.

letsgolesbians: my girl is spitting fax no printer tonite

michaeljackson: I have to agree.

catstiel: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

michaeljackson: Why do you keep using that?

catstiel: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

catstiel: Did you pick them up yet?

michaeljackson: We're at home since I got them out early.

michaeljackson: They're sitting in the back of the car with code blue in progress.

letsgolesbians: what????????

annaou: they're sittin handcuffed to the oh shit handlebars

letsgolesbians: OH SHIT HANDLEBARS IM CRYINF

annaou: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

michaeljackson: I'm thinking of getting McDonalds for dinner today. Thoughts?

annaou: YES YES YES YES YES YES

catstiel: Okay

catstiel: Do you want to drop the two of them off at home first so you can get the food without them being brats in the back?

michaeljackson: Smart.

catstiel: I'll be home in 2 minutes

michaeljackson: I'm just sitting in the driveway with the two of them trying to bite each other in the backseat.

michaeljackson: Take your time.

annaou: PFFT

michaeljackson: I'm assuming Charlie will be staying over for dinner?

letsgolesbians: hell ya dude

annaou: ofc

michaeljackson: So Castiel gets a Double Mac combo with Fanta as the drink.

michaeljackson: Gabriel and Balthazar get 20 chicken nuggets each and 2 cokes

michaeljackson: Anna gets a McChicken combo and a large Fanta drink with extra ice, the ice filled all the way to the top.

annaou: yess dude ily bro

michaeljackson: I love you too.

michaeljackson: And Charlie gets the same thing but the drink is a fruit smoothie.

letsgolesbians: strawberry banana?!

michaeljackson: Of course

letsgolesbians: skskkskekks i second what anna said

michaeljackson: Thank you.

catstiel: I'm home now

annaou: dude where are gabe and balthys phones

annaou: anyways

annaou: charlie and i will be going on a date tmrw so if gabe and balthy get in fucking trouble i MYSELF will throw hands

gibbydidntlikethat: dont hurt me lesbian kween #1

 

hoes mad

members:

Balthazar Novak (balthysaur)

Gabriel Novak (gibbydidntlikethat)

thursday, 6:22 PM

 

balthysaur: fuck michael for taking away our phones

balthysaur: he's the same fucking age as me but he's more likely to be valedictorian

gibbydidntlikethat: he treats us like children but especially me and im only a year younger than u guys

balthysaur: fax

balthysaur:

balthysaur: r we kool now

gibbydidntlikethat: yeah we r

gibbydidntlikethat: ik i call u names a lot and we fight a lot but

gibbydidntlikethat: ure still my bro dude

gibbydidntlikethat: family is everything

balthysaur:

balthysaur: i love you

gibbydidntlikethat: i love you too

 

pray like u tryna make your soul revival

members:

Anna Novak (annaou)

Castiel Novak (catstiel)

friday, 9:24 AM

 

annaou: ms mosely is so NICE

annaou: she just gave me a mini mars bar bc i did like 2% better on my quizzes than last time

catstiel: Why is this something that can't be told in the family chat?

annaou: bc gabe and balthy would hunt her down and never stop harassing her for candies

catstiel: You got me there

catstiel: Btw, when is your date today?

catstiel: Michael and I have decided to keep a strict eye on Gabriel and Balthazar in case they try to ruin your date.

annaou: uh like 4?

 

untitled chat

friday, 4:03 PM

 

Gabriel Novak (gibbydidntlikethat) has added Dean Winchester (impalameonastick) to the chat.

gibbydidntlikethat: hey ik we've never talked before but the lucifer kid just started beating your brother up out of nowhere

impalameonastick: fuck why didnt you do anything

gibbydidntlikethat: bc mr walker was out there and he saw it at the same time i did

gibbydidntlikethat: hes already breaking the fight up

impalameonastick: fuck where are they

gibbydidntlikethat: gym wings

impalameonastick: thanks.

 

novak empire

members:

Anna Novak (annaou)

Balthazar Novak (balthysaur)

Castiel Novak (catstiel)

Gabriel Novak (gibbydidntlikethat)

Michael Novak (michaeljackson)

Charlie Bradbury (letsgolesbians)

friday, 4:05 PM

 

gibbydidntlikethat: hey are yall proud of me

gibbydidntlikethat: i just saw a fight happening and i didnt get involved

letsgolesbians: ohhh my god

letsgolesbians: wait what's the tea

gibbydidntlikethat: lucifer just jumped sam winchester

letsgolesbians: OMG

letsgolesbians: like,, the sam u were thirsting after?????

gibbydidntlikethat: the very one

letsgolesbians: still not comfortable that u like him sm but ok i guess

gibbydidntlikethat: but he's the same year as me??

letsgolesbians: but he's not the same age

gibbydidntlikethat: by a fucking year

letsgolesbians: hey ill condone your relationship if he consents to it!!!

gibbydidntlikethat: dude im not a monster

letsgolesbians: im sorry that i insinuated u r :(

annaou: wait but did u do smth to stop it??

gibbydidntlikethat: LMAO i called mr walker over bc he was the closest and he broke up the fight

annaou: IM SO PROUD OF U

gibbydidntlikethat: THANK U

gibbydidntlikethat: now keep doing your lesbian thang, kweens

letsgolesbians: thank u, humble gay servant

 

wayward fucking sons

members:

Dean Winchester (impalameonastick)

Sam Winchester (ohsammyboy)

friday, 4:37 PM

 

ohsammyboy: Thanks for dropping me off, Dean.

impalameonastick: im going to kill him.

impalameonastick: im going to fucking kill him and they'll never find his body

ohsammyboy: Dean, no

ohsammyboy: Don't please he didn't do anything

impalameonastick: no, who the fuck names themselves lucifer and decides to fuckjng beat u up

impalameonastick: his real name is fucking nick something

impalameonastick: and he goes to our school

impalameonastick: so im going to fucking find him and beat his ass so hard he wont be able to fucking breathe properly without a machine

ohsammyboy: DEAN.

impalameonastick: im so sorry i couldnt stop dad from getting hammered otherwise i would let u come home so i could bake a pie for u but fuck

ohsammyboy: It's fine, Barry said i could stay again.

impalameonastick: dad's leaving in two days.

impalameonastick: two days and ill bake barry a thank you pie

ohsammyboy: How did you even find out about it?

impalameonastick: r u kidding me??

impalameonastick: the whole school was talking about how "lucifer just jumped the football captain's younger brother"

impalameonastick: even the rich kid gabriel novak dude sent me a message about it bc he saw it happening

ohsammyboy: I'll be back tomorrow.

impalameonastick: no stay there tomorrow too it's getting worse here.

ohsammyboy: Is it bad enough to call Bobby?

impalameonastick: no, calm down

impalameonastick: do your homework and get some rest

impalameonastick: ill drop some clothes off in like 10 min

ohsammyboy: Thanks Dean.

impalameonastick: no problemo sammy

impalameonastick: hey do u want a coffee?? u like that tar shit right

ohsammyboy: God yes

impalameonastick: aight ill go to that roadhouse coffeeshop that you're always talking ab

impalameonastick: how bout that lol

ohsammyboy: YES.

impalameonastick: :3

ohsammyboy: DOUBLE DOUBLE DOUBLE DOUBLE

impalameonastick: jesus i get it ok ok

 

friday, 4:23 PM

impalameonastick: SAMMY

ohsammyboy: Oh no, did you spill the coffee in the Impala?

impalameonastick: dude no god i would KILL myself before i would text u ab it

impalameonastick: no one of the dudes that work there?? he's my football manager

ohsammyboy: Isn't Castiel Novak your manager?

impalameonastick: FUCK I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT CASTIEL LOOKED LIKE

impalameonastick: WACK ASS NAME

impalameonastick: like, i knew what his name was and i knew what my manager looked like i just never put them together as the same person

ohsammyboy: Your levels of stupidity reaches levels beyond my understanding.

impalameonastick: SUCK MY ASS

impalameonastick: why the fuck is a rich kid working there

ohsammyboy: How would I know? You're lucky I read the stupid school blasts

impalameonastick: god, anyways

impalameonastick: dude he's

impalameonastick: he’s hella hot

ohsammyboy: Disgusting

ohsammyboy: Go talk to Benny about this or something.

impalameonastick: no im asking castiel for his number

ohsammyboy:

ohsammyboy: Are you sure you’re ready for a relationship after Lisa?

impalameonastick: :(

impalameonastick: dude i was fine living in denial

ohsammyboy: If that’s how you’re gonna talk about Lisa, then maybe you’re not ready for something with Castiel.

impalameonastick: …

impalameonastick: im not having this conversation w u right now

impalameonastick: im gettin u fucking coffee so be grateful bitch

ohsammyboy: :)

ohsammyboy: Castiel IS attractive, though.

impalameonastick: I KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

 

novak empire

members:

Anna Novak (annaou)

Balthazar Novak (balthysaur)

Castiel Novak (catstiel)

Gabriel Novak (gibbydidntlikethat)

Michael Novak (michaeljackson)

Charlie Bradbury (letsgolesbians)

friday, 5:51 PM

 

catstiel: Does everybody remember the invigorating convo we had last week about how I needed to find somebody to fall in love with

letsgolesbians: how could we forget

catstiel: Dean Winchester gave me his number and a $3 tip

letsgolesbians: that doesn’t seem that impressive of a tip

catstiel: Yes but then he apologized and said he would've given me 20 if he could but he’s too broke to give me that much but he really wanted to

annaou: the man of your dreams

letsgolesbians: ah young love

balthysaur: HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET DEAN WINCHESTER BEFORE ME

balthysaur: HE’S THE FUCKING FOOTBALL CAPTAIN

catstiel: Yes, but I’m the manager of the team.

catstiel: And I’m prettier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave comments, kudos, anything
> 
> guys im so tired exams are so draining  
> if there are any mistakes please just comment them or send me a message :) or just hf in the comments ig
> 
> ilyallsm :#


	3. just chillin in cedar rapids

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trying out some different formats!! enjoy

the boys  
members:   
Benny Lafitte (bennyboy)  
Dean Winchester (impalameonastick)  
Sam Winchester (ohsammyboy)

friday, 5:54 PM

impalameonastick: SHPULD I TEXT HIM NOW OR IS THAT TOO DESPERATE

bennyboy: bitch why we yellin

ohsammyboy: Dean just exchanged #s w the football team’s manager’s and he wants to do the texty

bennyboy: why is sam not using proper grammar

impalameonastick: he’s hyped up on sugar because i got him quadruple quadruple coffee or however the fuck u say it

impalameonastick: i also added in extra sugar packets by hand

ohsammyboy: YOU FUCKING JERK IM SHAKING

ohsammyboy: LITERALLY

ohsammyboy: BARRY WANTS TO TAKE ME TO ER

impalameonastick: barry’s a good kid

impalameonastick: anyways

impalameonastick: DO I TEXT HIM NOW OR DO I JUST LET MYSELF STEW IN ANTICIPATION UNTIL TMRW

bennyboy: wait let’s think this thru

-

untitled chat

friday, 5:56 PM

Dean Winchester (impalameonastick) has added Castiel Novak (catstiel) to the chat.

impalameonastick: hey, this is dean :)

catstiel: Hello :)

impalameonastick: whatcha doin?

catstiel: I’m just chilling in cedar rapids

-

novak empire  
members:  
Anna Novak (annaou)  
Balthazar Novak (balthysaur)  
Castiel Novak (catstiel)  
Gabriel Novak (gibbydidntlikethat)  
Michael Novak (michaeljackson)  
Charlie Bradbury (letsgolesbians)

friday, 5:57 PM

catstiel: And by your feet you will see the tattered remains of my social life down there

catstiel: Context: I texted Dean Winchester

annaou: YOU QUOTED THE STUPID HILLARY CLINTON VINE DIDNT YOU

gibbydidntlikethat: IM SCREAMING

balthysaur: bitch wtf is wrong w u u gotta finesse the shit outta this frat boy

catstiel: But he isn’t a frat boy

balthysaur: thats what he wants u to think

catstiel: Guys, I don’t know what to do

letsgolesbians: CHECK FOR A REPLY

-

untitled chat  
members:   
Castiel Novak (catstiel)  
Dean Winchester (impalameonastick)

friday, 5:59 PM

impalameonastick: dude did u just quote the fucking hillary clinton vine

catstiel: … yes?

impalameonastick: THAT’S HILARIOUS OMFG

-

the boys  
members:   
Benny Lafitte (bennyboy)  
Dean Winchester (impalameonastick)  
Sam Winchester (ohsammyboy)

friday, 6:00 PM

impalameonastick: (screenshot.png)

impalameonastick: so i decided not to listen to yall n i muted the chat

impalameonastick: castiel just fucking quoted a vine

ohsammyboy: marry him marry him marry him marry him marry him

bennyboy: are u sure it was only 4 sugars and creams that you put in his coffee

impalameonastick: no i just said that i dumped like 7 different packets of powdery stuff in there that said sweet n low so idrk dude

ohsammyboy: MY ARTERIES

impalameonastick: dude i eat like 10x more sugar every day stfu

ohsammyboy: BENNY BENY BENNY BENNY BENYY

bennyboy: text him back idiot

ohsammyboy: BENNY WAIT KSJALFDKLASJLFASDJK

bennyboy: u ok buddy? 

bennyboy: ?? sammy??

bennyboy: SAMMY 

bennyboy: SAMUEL

-

untitled chat  
members:   
Castiel Novak (catstiel)  
Dean Winchester (impalameonastick)

friday, 6:01 PM

impalameonastick: just so u know, i thought that was really cute

catstiel:

catstiel: Thank you. :)

impalameonastick: ;)))))

impalameonastick: hey this might be too fast but do u wanna get coffee or smth tmrw

impalameonastick: im always free on saturdays

catstiel: That sounds great.

catstiel: Thank you for not making fun of my vine reference :)

impalameonastick: why teh fuck would i do that

impalameonastick: a man after my own heart   
  
catstiel: :3

impalameonastick: so we could hang at like 10 am tmrw?

catstiel: Sure

catstiel: You could come back to the Roadhouse

catstiel: (Location pinned.)

catstiel: ^ in case you didn’t know where it is.

impalameonastick: u got it buddy

-

novak empire  
members:  
Anna Novak (annaou)  
Balthazar Novak (balthysaur)  
Castiel Novak (catstiel)  
Gabriel Novak (gibbydidntlikethat)  
Michael Novak (michaeljackson)  
Charlie Bradbury (letsgolesbians)

friday, 6:02 PM

catstiel: (screenshot.png)

catstiel: I have “finessed”

gibbydidntlikethat: MY OLDER BROTHER GUYS THIS GUY IS MY OLDER BROTHER

annaou: CASTIEL OHHHHHHHHHH

letsgolesbians: HE GETTIN DICK

catstiel: i mean id like to get to know him better first

michaeljackson: Castiel isn’t using capitalization anymore.

michaeljackson: He’s fallen deeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

balthysaur: ICONIC

letsgolesbians: i cant wait until the moment we can add him into the chat dude  
  
letsgolesbians: i wont be the only non-novak here

annaou: we consider u as family tho

annaou: that’s why ure here sskkskksksksks

annaou: :3

letsgolesbians: ok but do u guys like me tho or like is it just like a pity thing

gibbydidntlikethat: classic lesbian

gibbydidntlikethat: I SPEAK FOR EVERYONE AND WE ALL LOVE U BITCH

gibbydidntlikethat: WE AINT NEVER GON STOP LOVING YOU, BITCH

letsgolesbians: i feel so loved uwu

michaeljackson: We all love and appreciate you, Charlie.

michaeljackson: Good luck on the date tomorrow.

catstiel: as charlie said, “uwu”.

-

untitled chat  
members:  
Castiel Novak (catstiel)  
Dean Winchester (impalameonastick)

saturday, 10:01 AM

catstiel: I’m here.

impalameonastick: wow right on time

impalameonastick: is it weird that ive been waiting here 15 min early just idling in my car

catstiel: I’ve done that before, don’t worry.

catstiel: Are you coming inside with me or should I grab a seat first?

impalameonastick: NO WAIT IM COMIGN LOLOLOL

impalameonastick: wait gimme a sec lol

Dean Winchester (impalameonastick) has named the chat “zeppelin rocks”.

catstiel: Fan of Zeppelin, I see.

impalameonastick: you know it bb

impalameonastick: comin

-

the boys  
members:   
Benny Lafitte (bennyboy)  
Dean Winchester (impalameonastick)  
Sam Winchester (ohsammyboy)

saturday, 11:08 AM

impalameonastick: (selfiewmynewbae.png)

impalameonastick: i- i love him sm

bennyboy: you slut

ohsammyboy: You guys look really cute together.

bennyboy: disgusting

ohsammyboy: Hey, there’s a new event on that game of yours, Dean.

impalameonastick: SUPERNATURAL?!1!!!!

ohsammyboy: Yeah, a new legendary item’s out, and there’s a big reward for the first one to get it

impalameonastick: OH SHIT

impalameonastick: fuckckckck what is it called

ohsammyboy: The Colt.

impalameonastick: fuck seriously im on a date with the hottest guy alive

impalameonastick: UGAHFDSAKSJAFAL

-

spn gang  
members:  
Charlie Bradbury (letsgolesbians)  
Dean Winchester (impalameonastick)

saturday, 11:10 AM

impalameonastick: BITCH

letsgolesbians: HOE

impalameonastick: THE NEW ITEM, GO FETCH

impalameonastick: SAMMY JUST TOLD ME AB IT

letsgolesbians: SUPERNATURAL?!!!!!

impalameonastick: U KNOW IT

letsgolesbians: wait arent u on a date

impalameonastick: yeah but he just went to the washroom

impalameonastick: wait a sec

impalameonastick: how the fuck did u know that

letsgolesbians: .... im dating his sister

impalameonastick: WAIT

impalameonastick: YOU GUYS ARE THE POPULAR COUPLE AT SCHOOL ARENT U

letsgolesbians: wait we are?

letsgolesbians: huh

impalameonastick: IDK DUDE

impalameonastick: i didnt know the most beautiful man on earth existed right behind/beside me in all of my classes ok

impalameonastick: i also didnt know that he was my football manager

impalameonastick: i just dont notice shit ok

letsgolesbians: ill say jeeeeesus

impalameonastick: GO GET THE FUCKING COLT ON SPN U LESBIAN

letsgolesbians: FUCK U

impalameonastick: ily uwu

letsgolesbians: ik uwu

-

novak empire  
members:  
Charlie Bradbury (letsgolesbians)  
Anna Novak (annaou)  
Balthazar Novak (balthysaur)  
Castiel Novak (catstiel)  
Gabriel Novak (gibbydidntlikethat)  
Michael Novak (michaeljackson)

saturday, 11:12 AM

catstiel: :/

annaou: what’s wrong cas

catstiel: Dean just started texting after we took a selfie and he hasn’t stopped, so I just went to the washroom.  
  
catstiel: i am just feeling very anxious

catstiel: He doesn’t have anybody else he’s seeing, right?

gibbydidntlikethat: OFKJDFJSAKFHAL

gibbydidntlikethat: send the selfie nerd

catstiel: (selfie.png)

gibbydidntlikethat: i may be short as fuck but i can pull off pranks on him that’ll make loki’s go to shame

balthysaur: lmao i used to think loki was u and u was loki yall looked the same

michaelnovak: I might not be a prankster, but I can throw a few punches.

gibbydidntlikethat: oh my

gibbydidntlikethat: thats the coolest thing that michael’s ever said my golly

letsgolesbians: OMG IM SO SORRY

letsgolesbians: that was meeeee

letsgolesbians: his brother told him about a new item on this game we play and he told me to go get it

annaou: CHARLIE

letsgolesbians: IM SORRY OKAY HE’S DONE TEXTING AND HE’S WAITING FOR U GOGOGOGOGO

catstiel: i am so very, very relieved

letsgolesbians: i have known dean for so so long and he is a great, great guy okay??

letsgolesbians: he is NOTHING like ketch and he will never do what ketch did to you ok

catstiel: :)

letsgolesbians: now go gettem tiger

gibbydidntlikethat:

gibbydidntlikethat: dont u guys ever feel like the author has no idea how to write a fucking comedy

balthysaur: did u smoke the good kush again

annaou: what the fuck

-

zeppelin rocks  
members:  
Dean Winchester (impalameonastick)  
Castiel Novak (catstiel)

saturday, 12:27 PM

impalameonastick: i had fun today :)

catstiel: I did too.

impalameonastick: weren't u impressed that i knew all the lyrics to that stupid elvis song

catstiel: Very. :D

impalameonastick: im sorry that i was texting during our date, i didnt mean to upset you

catstiel: You did nothing wrong!

catstiel: I really DID enjoy our time together today.

catstiel: We should do this again, sometime.  
  
impalameonastick: ofc

impalameonastick: see you at school, honeybunch

-

novak empire  
members:  
Charlie Bradbury (letsgolesbians)  
Anna Novak (annaou)  
Balthazar Novak (balthysaur)  
Castiel Novak (catstiel)  
Gabriel Novak (gibbydidntlikethat)  
Michael Novak (michaeljackson)

saturday, 12:29 PM

catstiel: (screenshot.png)

catstiel: i am in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what other characters do yall want in this shitpost please 
> 
> ALSO!! EXAMS ARE OVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER WOOPDYDOO SKFDKAKJDSAFK


	4. party prep

novak empire  
members:  
Charlie Bradbury (letsgolesbians)  
Anna Novak (annaou)  
Balthazar Novak (balthysaur)  
Castiel Novak (catstiel)  
Gabriel Novak (gibbydidntlikethat)  
Michael Novak (michaeljackson)

saturday, 12:29 PM

catstiel: i am in love.

gibbydidntlikethat: CODE PINK CODE PINK CODE PINK

michaeljackson: I have the binder out on my desk in the study.

michaeljackson: Top right corner.

letsgolesbians: code pink wtf

gibbydidntlikethat: im at target location

balthysaur: copy that

annaou: it means castiel is ready to get hitched and drive off to vegas 

annaou: the binder has all the countermeasures in it

letsgolesbians: jesus schmeezus

annaou: he literally almost did get married with ketch okay that was a fucking nightmare

letsgolesbians: why didnt i know of this earlier :0

annaou: it happened b4 u got added into the chat and b4 we started dating

balthysaur: i have eyes on target

gibbydidntlikethat: copy that, on your three

letsgolesbians: what the fuck

catstiel: ANNA CHARLLSI HELP SHK TWHERE THE HEL DID THSOSE THOOWOT EHA LKFJASFSAL

balthysaur: extraction complete

gibbydidntlikethat: bringing hostage back to HQ

michaeljackson: Copy that.

michaeljackson: ETA 3 minutes to study

annaou: ABSOLUTE UNITS

letsgolesbians: IM SCREAMING WTAFFFFF

michaeljackson: 2 minutes.

letsgolesbians: 3 minutes to get to a room? cant relate

letsgolesbians: i keep forgetting u guys live in an actual mansion

gibbydidntlikethat: LMAO

gibbydidntlikethat: u were here literally two days ago

letsgolesbians: and have i gone anywhere else but the living room, dining room, and anna’s room?? nO

balthysaur: well i mean do u really want to have sex anywhere else

letsgolesbians: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

gibbydidntlikethat: KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD FUCK

michaeljackson: Please don’t die on the way here.

michaeljackson: The party tomorrow is still on, right?

gibbydidntlikethat: IF BALTHAZAR DOESNT FUCKING KILL US YUEAH

annaou: im crying

gibbydidntlikethat: IM HOLDING ONTO THE OH SHIT HANDLE GUYS HE’S DRIVING LIKE A MAD MAN

michaeljackson: We need to send out invitations.

gibbydidntlikethat: ON IT ONCE WE GET BAKFALKFALSFSAFJDSLKALDSA.L

letsgolesbians: oh my fucking god he fuckin dead

michaeljackson: DON’T FUCKING DIE OR TOTAL MY CAR, NIMRODS

annaou: omg he’s swearing im shaking

-

saturday, 12:43 PM

catstiel: I hate you all.

gibbydidntlikethat: uwu no u dont

catstiel: uwu Fuck you

gibbydidntlikethat: OWO NANI THE FUCK

annaou: whoa chill

letsgolesbians: chill

michaeljackson: My car… is fine.

balthysaur: i cant believe u fuckin locked me in the garage just so u could do a “thorough” check of your car like omfg

balthysaur: i broke my fucking acrylics picking the lock

balthysaur: now i have to get them done again

gibbydidntlikethat: aw, did somebody chip their nails a little :(

gibbydidntlikethat: JOKES HAHA STUPID BITCH

balthysaur: these nails cost more than that stupid animal that sits on top of your head everyday

gibbydidntlikethat: fuck that hurt

michaeljackson: :/

michaeljackson: Anyways, Gabriel, start sending out invites.

gibbydidntlikethat: ugh fine

letsgolesbians: gabriel literally knows everyone at school wtf

gibbydidntlikethat: im prolly just gonna invite a select few LEL like 7 peeps

gibbydidntlikethat: the ones we really interact w

annaou: bb come over

letsgolesbians: no im still on that grind for the COLT

letsgolesbians: im already wasting time on this stupid chat

letsgolesbians: im one step away and i wont let yall distract me bye losers

letsgolesbians: i still love you all (esp. anna) btw this doesnt change anything

catstiel: :)

annaou: ily

gibbydidntlikethat: what do the fucking invites say

michaeljackson: Anything?

michaeljackson: I mean, aren’t the words “Annual Novak Soirée” enough incentive to come?

gibbydidntlikethat: plus ones?

michaeljackson: Only from our school.

michaeljackson: Besides, everybody else will just come anyways.

gibbydidntlikethat: oho ok

annaou: LMAO it isnt even really a fancy soiree it’s more like a huge ass frat party

balthysaur: well mikey just wants to keep a sense of dignity to our name

balthysaur: guys im crying my regular nail stylist is out so now i have to find a new one before tmrw AHHHHH

gibbydidntlikethat: (Location pinned.)

gibbydidntlikethat: ik some friends that go there that really like that place

gibbydidntlikethat: p cheap ngl but good quality

balthysaur: :0

balthysaur: thank you bitch

gibbydidntlikethat: no problem hoe

annaou: INVITE LIST INVITE LIST INVITE LIST INVITE LIST

michaeljackson: God, our mansion is so big we have to text each other instead of just going to the same room we’re in.

annaou: #firstworldproblems

gibbydidntlikethat: ugh so basically these are the ones i CHOSE to invite instead of them just running to our humble abode like animals

gibbydidntlikethat: ok so it’s us

gibbydidntlikethat: dean winchester sam winchester

balthysaur: mmm

catstiel: yes of course

gibbydidntlikethat: SAVE THE REACTIONS UNTIL AFTER IVE FINISHED

gibbydidntlikethat:

gibbyddintlikethat: good

gibbydidntlikethat: then we have kevin tran, crowley, meg, lisa, that benny dude, and jessica moore

gibbydidntlikethat: i dont feel as if we personally really care about anybody else so they can just come w out an invitation lmao

gibbydidntlikethat: ugh lucifer better not come or else we’ll have to get our bouncers to kick him out again and make a big fuss

michaeljackson: Wasn’t Lisa Dean Winchester’s girlfriend?

balthysaur: lol wAs

balthysaur: they broke up

annaou: omg why

balthysaur: lisa gave dean a pregnancy scare

annaou: WAS SHE PREGNANT

balthysaur: no it was a false read but apparently dean got really freaked out and she got really mad so they broke it off

balthysaur: i lowkey cant believe i used to be best friends with a preppy girl like her but oh well

annaou: poor dude, i woulda been freaked out too

balthysaur: yeah but i mean :/ dean coulda handled it better

annaou: we dont know enough about the story to really judge tho

balthysaur: ://///

gibbydidntlikethat: shut up u shady bitch

gibbydidntlikethat: is the list approved????

michaeljackson: Yes.

gibbydidntlikethat: now for the fun part

-

untitled chat

saturday, 12:47 PM

Gabriel Novak (gibbydidntlikethat) has added Kevin Tran (noarmkevin), Crowley MacLeod (cawcawmotherfucker), Dean Winchester (impalameonastick), Sam Winchester (ohsammyboy), Benny Lafitte (bennyboy), Meg Masters (deviledmeggs), Lisa Braeden (hastalalisa) and Jessica Moore (tellmemoore) to the chat.

Gabriel Novak (gibbydidntlikethat) has named the chat "so yall comin or naw".

gibbydidntlikethat: congrats, you’ve been cordially invited to the Annual Novak Soirée by the Novaks.

gibbydidntlikethat: drinks and food will be available.

gibbydidntlikethat: (Location pinned.)

gibbydidntlikethat: the party starts at 6, earliest.

gibbydidntlikethat: feel free to spread the word and bring plus ones. remember, only students from lawrence high allowed.

gibbydidntlikethat: will we be seeing you there?

noarmkevin: i have to ask my mom first

cawcawmotherfucker: i dont have anything better to do

impalameonastick: uh sure

ohsammyboy: What the fuck

bennyboy: lol k

tellmemoore: yes let’s get this bread

gibbydidntlikethat: for those of you that haven’t replied, you will be expected regardless.

gibbydidntlikethat: see you there bitches

-

zeppelin rocks  
members:  
Castiel Novak (catstiel)  
Dean Winchester (impalameonastick)

saturday, 12:49 PM

catstiel: Did you see the invitation?

impalameonastick: yeah

impalameonastick: sammy’s first party LMAO

catstiel: Will you be coming?

impalameonastick: lol hell yeah dude

impalameonastick: hey uh btw.. since it’s at 6 tmrw.. wanna go to the lake that’s near my uncle’s house?? it’s p nice

impalameonastick: plus mr. cain has an apiary near there and he likes me so if u wanna see some cool bees that’s the place

catstiel: I’m in.

impalameonastick: hehe tmrw at 12? then we can get ready for the party lol

catstiel: of course

impalameonastick: im sorry if it seems like im moving too fast

impalameonastick: it’s just that today, when we talked, i felt like we’ve always known each other

impalameonastick: like something just clicked

impalameonastick: im sorry if that sounded dumb lol

catstiel: i felt something click too, dean. :)

impalameonastick: (smile emoji)

imapalemonastick: imma show u my Baby!!! i’ll pick u up

-

novak empire  
members:  
Charlie Bradbury (letsgolesbians)  
Anna Novak (annaou)  
Balthazar Novak (balthysaur)  
Castiel Novak (catstiel)  
Gabriel Novak (gibbydidntlikethat)  
Michael Novak (michaeljackson)

saturday, 12:50 PM

catstiel: (screenshot.png)

catstiel: I don’t understand how he knows what my ideal date is

catstiel: It actually IS like he knew me from a previous life or something

annaou: yall are seriously made for each other lmao

catstiel: I’m a little worried, since the football game against the Devils is on Monday, after the party.

catstiel: Since Dean is the captain of the team, I’m pretty sure the rest of them will follow along.

gibbydidntlikethat: huh didnt think ab that

gibbydidntlikethat: should we have our bouncers kick them out LOL

catstiel: NO

letsgolesbians: omg i forgot yall had bouncers

letsgolesbians: btw guess who got the rewards for being the first person to get the Colt

annaou: U BABY?????!11!

letsgolesbians: YESSSSS

letsgolesbians: i also split the rewards between kevin, dean, and I LOLOLOL

letsgolesbians: we all got a Colt each and like 5 million tiamat coins into our banks ugh my mind

letsgolesbians: i carry my party of wannabe hunters so much my back hurts

annaou: your back prolly hurts bc u sit weirdly when u play games :(((

annaou: comin over w heat pads uwu

gibbydidntlikethat: ugh a functioning relationship

gibbydidntlikethat: (disgustangmeme.png)

gibbydidntlikethat: prolly gonna get laid tmrw get ready bitches

michaeljackson: :/

michaeljackson: Anyways.

michaeljackson: Who chose the decorations?

gibbydidntlikethat: uh me

michaeljackson: How the fuck do I tell the catering service that we don’t want a BDSM themed event?

catstiel: oh my god

gibbydidntlikethat: uh

gibbydidntlikethat: GOTTA DASH

michaeljackson: GABRIEL

-

sunday, 11:46 AM

balthysaur: OMFG CN SOMEON TELL THE FUCKIN CAR OUTSDIE TO STFU

balthysaur: IAM TRYIG TO SLEEEEEEEEEEEEP

gibbydidntlikethat: why arent u awake yet LMAO

balthysaur: bitch we’re rich and it’s a sunday let me live

catstiel: SORRY SORRY

catstiel: That’s Dean showing off his car haha

catstiel: he’s adorable

michaeljackson: Will you be back from your date in time for the party?

catstiel: Of course.

michaeljackson: Then have fun.

-

the boys  
members:  
Benny Lafitte (bennyboy)  
Dean Winchester (impalameonastick)  
Sam Winchester (ohsammyboy)

sunday, 12:47 PM

impalameonastick: ugh look at my mans

impalameonastick: (casbeingadorable.png)

impalameonastick: he loves bees so much it’s so freaking cute

ohsammyboy: Dean, what do I wear to the party?

impalameonastick: shit i have to pick u up ughghhghghg

bennyboy: i can give sam a ride

bennyboy: focus on your date dumbass

impalameonastick: ok drop him off at the novaks’

impalameonastick: cas is letting me raid their huge ass walk-in closets and i can pick something out for sammy and myself

ohsammyboy: Oh, ok.

ohsammyboy: Dad’s gone, right?

impalameonastick: how else do u think i have the impala LOL

bennyboy: honestly? i thought u fuckin hijacked it

impalameonastick: (eye roll emoji)

impalameonastick: jokes that’s totally something i would do

bennyboy: ik

bennyboy: go back to your fucking date

impalameonastick: GOTTA DASH

-

novak empire  
members:  
Charlie Bradbury (letsgolesbians)  
Anna Novak (annaou)  
Balthazar Novak (balthysaur)  
Castiel Novak (catstiel)  
Gabriel Novak (gibbydidntlikethat)  
Michael Novak (michaeljackson)

sunday, 3:04 PM

gibbydidntlikethat: did yall see dean and sam winchester in small wardrobe #3 omg

gibbydidntlikethat: what the fuck r they doing here

gibbydidntlikethat: my gay ass cant handle this level of hot

balthysaur: omg

balthysaur: well im just glad i got my nails done in time oooooof

letsgolesbians: yall anna looks sooooo gooood im crying my baby darling

letsgolesbians: apple of my eye

letsgolesbians: my sugar plum

letsgolesbians: the most beautifudsfglfghkdfjsnmgfsa

letsgolesbians: hi anna here please ignore my girlfriend

catstiel: They’re here because they don’t have anything in mind for something to wear

catstiel: I didn’t want to overwhelm them with Small Wardrobe #2 or higher so I showed them to the most mediocre one we have.

gibbydidntlikethat: eh Small Wardrobe #4 has some seriously nice stuff for them tho

catstiel: Going there for accessories.

michaeljackson: Smart.

michaeljackson: Make sure not to choose any cashmere ties.

michaeljackson: I keep forgetting to have Cupid burn them.

letsgolesbians: charlie’s back bitches

letsgolesbians: UGH I WANT A BUTLER NAMED CUPID WTF

michaeljackson: I could hire one for you.

letsgolesbians: omg what

letsgolesbians: YESLFJSKADKSALJFDS

letsgolesbians: anna back

letsgolesbians: im planning on getting her one myself for our anniversary ok dont ruin it

michaeljackson: My apologies. :(

letsgolesbians has deleted a message.

michaeljackson has deleted a message.

gibbydidntlikethat: ohhh wow dean wearing a nice blue suit? if only he had a beard he’d look even better woooooow

gibbydidntlikethat: and sam i cant even im breathless holy shit

balthysaur: ugh get laid already

gibbydidntlikethat: IM TRYING TO

balthysaur: pathetic

gibbydidntlikethat: ugh fuck off and get a job already

balthysaur: no u

michaeljackson: Everybody, gather in the main sitting room and help me seal off the rest of the house from stragglers.

catstiel: Can Dean and Sam help? I don’t want to leave them in the wardrobe.

michaeljackson: The more hands, the easier the job will be.

michaeljackson: So yes.

gibbydidntlikethat: omg i cant wait for this to go downnnnnnnnn

-

bad moon rising  
members:  
Nick (lucifer)  
Ruby (rubyfication)

sunday, 5:58 PM

lucifer: so where will he be?

rubyfication: at the novaks’ party.

lucifer: ah.

lucifer: perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave thoughts, comments, whatever!! 
> 
> wanna shout @ me!?? follow me on insta: @masaya.chan
> 
> yes, it's my main, but i trust yall!!!!! uwu see u next time!!


	5. fuck the police (comin' straight from tha underground)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry for the short chapter ive just been so drained mentally :(((

novak empire  
members:   
Charlie Bradbury (letsgolesbians)  
Anna Novak (annaou)  
Balthazar Novak (balthysaur)  
Castiel Novak (catstiel)  
Gabriel Novak (gibbydidntlikethat)  
Michael Novak (michaeljackson)

sunday, 8:13 PM

gibbydidntlikethat: fuck fuck fuck

letsgolesbians: damn it

michaeljackson: What’s going on?

gibbydidntlikethat: THE BOUNCERS HAVE BEEN KNOCKED OUT

balthysaur: gabe and i are looking for people who dont belong

gibbydidntlikethat: this has lucifer and the devils written all over it

catstiel: I see Lucifer.

michaeljackson: God damn it.

catstiel: He just asked for one of his minions to find Sam Winchester

catstiel: I have to go.

annaou: is dean w u?

catstiel: He’s beside me as we speak.

catstiel: lucifer is in the south eastern quadrant of the dance floor

michaeljackson: Near the drinks?

catstiel: near the drinks.

michaeljackson: On my way.

gibbydidntlikethat: balthy and i are going to look for the minions

letsgolesbians: i just wanted to be fully gay and have a good time but im honestly feeling so attacked right now

gibbydidntlikethat: LETS GO LESBIANS

letsgolesbians: ugh fine

-

wayward fucking sons  
members:  
Dean Winchester (impalameonastick)  
Sam Winchester (ohsammyboy)

sunday, 8:15 PM

impalameonastick: SAMMY WHERE R U

ohsammyboy: ? Hanging with Jessica and Benny?

impalameonastick: WHERE

ohsammyboy: uh near the dj?

impalameonastick: STAY THERE

-

novak empire  
members:  
Charlie Bradbury (letsgolesbians)  
Anna Novak (annaou)  
Balthazar Novak (balthysaur)  
Castiel Novak (catstiel)  
Gabriel Novak (gibbydidntlikethat)  
Michael Novak (michaeljackson)

sunday, 8:18 PM

letsgolesbians: GUYS DEAN IS SQUARING UP W LUCIFER

letsgolesbians: CAS CONTROL YOUR MANS

catstiel: Fuck hold him back until I get there

letsgolesbians: (deankickingass.vid)

balthysaur: lol im at wendys bc i didnt wanna be there anymore

gibbydidntlikethat: SO THAT’S WHERE U WENT U BASTARD

balthysaur: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

michaeljackson: Damn it, someone called the police.

michaeljackson: Operation Scatter is a go.

-

untitled chat

sunday, 8:19 PM

Gabriel Novak (gibbydidntlikethat) has added Charlie Bradbury (letsgolesbians), Anna Novak (annaou), Balthazar Novak (balthysaur), Castiel Novak (catstiel), Michael Novak (michaeljackson), Dean Winchester (impalameonastick), Sam Winchester (ohsammyboy), Benny Lafitte (bennyboy), Kevin Tran (noarmkevin), Crowley Macleod (cawcawmotherfucker), Meg Masters (deviledmeggs), and Jessica Moore (tellmemoore) to the chat.

Gabriel Novak has named the chat “FUCK THE POLICE”.

gibbydidntlikethat: SCATTER SCATTER SCATTER

deviledmeggs: WHAT THE SHIT NOVAK

tellmemoore: ISSTHE POPO RUN BITCHES

michaeljackson: Please hide in any of our closets or in the basement.

michaeljackson: There are many hiding spaces there.

balthysaur: LMAO im at wendys if anybody wants to run away and hang

letsgolesbians: ANNA BABE WHERE R U

annaou: AT THE THIRD FLOOR REC ROOM

letsgolesbians: DASHING

noarmkevin: wow im so happy i didnt go to this party

cawcawmotherfucker: damn it i think i left my weed behind at the pool

gibbydidntlikethat: WHY THE FUCK DID U BRING WEED TO THE PARTY

cawcawmotherfucker: why the fuck not

gibbydidntlikethat: shit u got me there

impalameonastick: CAS WHERE R U

catstiel: I see you, I’m on my way

annaou: WAIT GUYS THERE’S SOMEONE ON THE ROOF ABOUT TO JUMP INTO THE POOL

gibbydidntlikethat: omg ples record it

annaou: (isthatbenny.vid)

bennyboy: hehehsjhfeh i gonn fly hehe

bennyboy: i am vampire hisssssssssssssssdfdddfiiriurueer

impalameonastick: NO GET DOWN FROM THE FUCKING ROOF IDIOT

bennyboy: nno

bennyboy: these sppons help me flyyyyy

cawcawmotherfucker: i normally dont care but somebody should save him before the police breaks through the beautiful white picket fence you guys have around the mansion to get him.

cawcawmotherfucker: jokes my weed is at the pool so if the police get through and see it they’re going to link it back to me and i cant have that.

michaeljackson: Okay, I got himkkslsl

michaeljackson: Dean, can I knock him out so he stops sturrugjgling

impalaemonastick: be my fucking guest

tellmemoore: WAIT WHERE’S LISA

tellmemoore: GABE U FORGOT TO ADD HER TO THE FUCKJNG CHT

gibbydidntlikethat: FUCK IM SORR

tellmemoore: TELL ME WHERE SHE IS U BASTARD

gibbydidntlikethat: I GUESS WE’LL HAVE TO FIND OUT LOLOLOLOLOLOL

-

FUCK THE POLICE   
members:   
Gabriel Novak (gibbydidntlikethat)   
Charlie Bradbury (letsgolesbians)   
Anna Novak (annaou)  
Balthazar Novak (balthysaur)  
Castiel Novak (catstiel)  
Michael Novak (michaeljackson)  
Dean Winchester (impalameonastick)  
Sam Winchester (ohsammyboy)  
Benny Lafitte (bennyboy)  
Kevin Tran (noarmkevin)  
Crowley Macleod (cawcawmotherfucker)  
Meg Masters (deviledmeggs)  
Jessica Moore (tellmemoore)

monday, 6:03 AM

impalameonastick: ugh fuck my head fucking hurts

impalameonastick: do any of u fuckin rich kids have ibuprofen or something

michaeljackson: That’s why I don’t drink.

michaeljackson: I’m making prairie oysters in the main kitchen, second floor.

cawcawmotherfucker: my weed is safe, thank god

cawcawmotherfucker: otherwise i would have had to murder you all to clear off my tracks and that would’ve been an awkward conversation with your parents :/

noarmkevin: you animals

noarmkevin: just a reminder that it’s a late start today plus there’s a football game

noarmkevin: in case alcohol somehow made you guys forget :/

deviledmeggs: aw thanks tran

deviledmeggs: you care!

noarmkevin: uh i dont know you

ohsammyboy: ah shit everything hurts

ohsammyboy: Wait, why are we all in a group chat?

ohsammyboy: Why is Gabriel sleepwalking in front of me trying to give me a lollipop?

impalameonastick: i cant move and cas is sleepin on top of me sammy ure on your own

letsgolesbians: kevin,,,,, i have one thing to ask of you

noarmkevin: ye whas good

letsgolesbians: before i die,,,,

noarmkevin: yes oh mighty lesbian kween???

letsgolesbians: collect my daily rewards on spn,,,, it’s at streak 89 and i cant lose that,,,

noarmkevin: YES MA’AM

-

as hot as a ceiling fire   
members:  
Jessica Moore (tellmemoore)  
Lisa Braeden (hastalalisa)

monday, 6:21 AM

tellmemoore: LISA WHERE R U BOO

hastalalisa: sjsjsjsjs idek this house is huge

hastalalisa: i just hid in the cupboard of one of the kitchens in the second floor

hastalalisa: i s2g i heard michael makin stuff in here but idk D:

tellmemoore: im coming to rescue u!!!!!!!!!!!!

-

zeppelin rocks   
members:  
Castiel Novak (catstiel)  
Dean Winchester (impalameonastick)

monday, 10:33 AM

impalameonastick: i miss u already ;(

catstiel: I am sitting right behind you, Dean.

impalameonastick: yeah but i want u beside me :(((

catstiel: Mr. Cain is watching you smile at your crotch because you’re texting me.

catstiel: Get off your phone.

impalameonastick: :(

-

monday, 2:59 PM

impalameonastick: ure coming to the football game right

catstiel: Dean, I’m the manager.

impalameonastick: OMG U RITE

impalameonastick: who do u think will win today

catstiel: You.

impalameonastick: i meant team wise

catstiel: You. :)

impalameonastick: u makin me blush darlin

impalameonastick: fuck walker’s lookin at me weird gotta dash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLES TELL ME WHAT I CAN DO TO MAKE THIS BETTER ;;; I FEEL LIKE IVE DISAPPOINTED YALL
> 
> blame my crippling self-doubt lol


	6. the necessary football game

novak empire  
members:  
Charlie Bradbury (letsgolesbians)  
Anna Novak (annaou)  
Balthazar Novak (balthysaur)  
Castiel Novak (catstiel)  
Gabriel Novak (gibbydidntlikethat)  
Michael Novak (michaeljackson)

monday, 4:13 PM

annaou: WAIT A SECON D MICHAEL PLAYS ON THE FOOTBALL TEAM???????

gibbydidntlikethat: dumb bitch yes

annaou: BUT BUT

annaou: I SWEAR CAS NEVER SPOKE AB THIS HAHAHSHSHFSHDHSJFSA

gibbydidntlikethat: lol why else do u think balth and i are here w a megaphone LOL

letsgolesbians: guys im not even at the field yet but i can hear gabe yelling “DROP THE BALL BITCH” amplified x10

annaou: KSSKSKKS MICHAEL JUST YELLED BACK “SUCK A DICK SO YOU CAN HOP OFF MINE” IM SCREAMINGGGGGG

balthysaur: ugh we just got a point thanks to mike

balthysaur: disgusting

michaeljackson: Hi, this is Jack Kline. Castiel told me to ask for Gabriel to hopefully stop yelling?

annaou: omg intruder

annaou: how did u get into michael’s phone

michaeljackson: Uh Castiel unlocked it for me :3

michaeljackson: sorry for interrupting whatever was going on on top lol

gibbydidntlikethat: u know too much already

Gabriel Novak (gibbydidntlikethat) has added Jack Kline (jackolantern) to the chat.

gibbydidntlikethat: we must control the gossip that gets out nerds

michaeljackson: owo im scared

-

monday, 4:47 PM

catstiel: I guess Jack is a part of the Empire.

gibbydidntlikethat: OMG HSOEM ONE HELP MICHAELS SCOMING TO HUNT ME DOWN AND KILL ME

gibbydidntlikethat: ME AND BALTHY SOSNG DHELP

catstiel: I really hope nobody dies before the second half starts :/

catstiel: Is Michael comsifklopwlelkw

catstiel: hey losers whats up this is dean

catstiel: as somebody who is dating someone in the damn empire group im a little offended that a kid got added in before me

catstiel: i treat my mans righkstrklrtl

catstiel: IGNORE HIM

letsgolesbians: iconic

catstiel: Michael needs to come back, Coach Rufus is starting to talk game plans

jackolantern: whoa dean is dating cas????!!1!! wow

jackolantern: that’s so cool!!

jackolantern: uh oh gotta go dean’s glaring at me

jackolantern: bye uwu

-

the good kush dealer  
members:  
Gabriel Novak (gibbydidntlikethat)  
Crowley Macleod (mrcrowley)

monday, 4:49 PM

gibbydidntlikethat: bitch

mrcrowley: what do you want novak

gibbydidntlikethat: you know what i want

mrcrowley: dick duh

gibbydidntlikethat:

gibbydidntlikethat: ok yes but i meant the good kush dude

mrcrowley: when?

gibbydidntlikethat: uh r u here at the football game/

mrcrowley: of course. i’ve set up shop.

gibbydidntlikethat: name change?

mrcrowley: yes.

gibbydidntlikethat: LMAO why??? not like it’d make u any cooler pfft

mrcrowley: i dont have to explain myself to you :/

mrcrowley: go suck sam winchester’s dick so you can hop off mine

gibbydidntlikethat: oho that’s the plan ;)

mrcrowley: disgusting

mrcrowley: the weed will be delivered by a boy named andrew gallagher

mrcrowley: he’s the twinkiest one i could have on such short notice

mrcrowley: he’ll find you.

gibbydidntlikethat: oooh scary

mrcrowley: payment now or tab?

gibbydidntlikethat: the usual :3

mrcrowley: thank you for your money, hoe

-

novak empire  
members:  
Charlie Bradbury (letsgolesbians)  
Anna Novak (annaou)  
Balthazar Novak (balthysaur)  
Castiel Novak (catstiel)  
Gabriel Novak (gibbydidntlikethat)  
Michael Novak (michaeljackson)

monday, 4:54 PM

balthysaur: omg guys i was goin w gabe to pick up his weed

annaou: bb no he told me he was gettin snacks

gibbydidntlikethat: uh yeah i am weed makes me snacky mm

letsgolesbians: we’re going to have to talk about that once we get home >:(

gibbydidntlikethat: hop off my dick

balthysaur: anyways!! we just saw sam run off w kevin im screaming

gibbydidntlikethat: god im so glad i restocked on weed ugh

letsgolesbians: u wanna talk ab it?

gibbydidntlikethat: later, thanks :(

gibbydidntlikethat: like ik it’s stupid but like im really sad rn

gibbydidntlikethat: like i know i didnt really have a chance w a guy as sweet as him but like man

gibbydidntlikethat: that sorta really hurt

annaou: hey look on the bright side!!! he maybe just wanted to pick up some hw w him or smth!!!

gibbydidntlikethat: yeah but kevin’s the same age as sam and he’s just as smart :(

annaou: :(

gibbydidntlikethat: OH WELL TIME TO GRAB THE GOOD KUSH AND BULLY MICHAEL EVEN HARDER NOW

-

monday, 5:48 PM

gibbydidntlikethat: I CANT BELIEVE MICHAEL FUCKING WON THE TURNING POINT AND THE FINAL POINT IM SCREAMING IN A BAD WAY

gibbydidntlikethat: WHY CANT ANYTHING GO MY WAY FKFKSALFSAFALKA

michaeljackson: SUCK MY ASS GABRIEL HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

letsgolesbians: LMAO ANNA AND I ARE GONNA GO TO MCDS TO CELEBRATE BYE LOSER

Castiel Novak (catstiel) has added Dean Winchester (impalameonastick) to the chat.

catstiel: congrats bb :)

impalameonastick: I LOVE YOU CAS

catstiel:

catstiel: i love you too

balthysaur: GAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

gibbydidntlikethat: ugh

impalameonastick: CAS AND I ARE GONNA HEAD BACK TO THE MANSION TO CELEBRATE OURSELVES HEHEHEHEHEHHE

catstiel: we are?

impalameonastick: (stealthyselfiewcas.png)

impalameonastick: BYE

-

hoes mad  
members:  
Balthazar Novak (balthysaur)  
Gabriel Novak (gibbydidntlikethat)

monday, 6:12 PM

balthysaur: im coming to your room

balthysaur: do u still have some left over

gibbydidntlikethat: ehhee ye come over bro

balthysaur: :/

gibbydidntlikethat: let us be sad and high together!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

balthysaur: k

-

we’re nerds, not geeks  
members:  
Charlie Bradbury (letsgolesbians)  
Kevin Tran (noarmkevin)

monday, 7:09 PM

letsgolesbians: hey gabe told me u ran off w sam during the game huh

noarmkevin: lol what

letsgolesbians: did u?

noarmkevin: i mean yeah we ran down to the school to pick up our science textbooks bc we both forgot about our hw lol

noarmkevin: why, does gabe have the hots for sam or smth

noarmkevin:

noarmkevin: OMG HE TOTALLY DOES DOESNT HE

noarmkevin: NOW I FEEL LIKE AN ASS OMG

noarmkevin: I MEAN SAM IS HOT AS HELL LIKE WOW A GREEK GOD

noarmkevin: BUT I MEAN IM NOT SURE IF I LIKE HIM THE WAY GABE DOES??

noarmkevin: AFKALSJFALKFLSAJLFAJK TELL GABE IM SORRY

letsgolesbians: uwu i will dw

letsgolesbians: DW URE OK OMG HEHEHEH

noarmkevin: (crying emoji)

-

im gay you’re gay who’s not gay  
members:  
Gabriel Novak (gibbydidntlikethat)  
Charlie Bradbury (letsgolesbians)

monday, 7:12 PM

letsgolesbians: (screenshot.png)

letsgolesbians: your mans is still capable of being your mans :)

gibbydidntlikethat: hi icant proscess this yte bc im high as fuck so see u tmrw monr lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugghghhghg im so tired LOL i hope u enjoyed this!!!
> 
> tell me what ud like to see next!
> 
> also idk who to ship sam or benny with god there's so many possibilities!!!!!


	7. me go climb vent ooh ooh ah ah

im gay you’re gay who’s not gay  
members:  
Gabriel Novak (gibbydidntlikethat)  
Charlie Bradbury (letsgolesbians)

tuesday, 11:03 AM

gibbydidntlikethat: OMG HOE WHAT THEY DIDNT MAKE BBS LST NIGHT UGHJFDSKFSK I WANT HIS BABIES

letsgolesbians: :0 jesus christ

gibbydidntlikethat: i UST WOKE UP SJKSFSKJKS

letsgolesbians: we couldn’t find u so we had to leave w/o u omg

gibbydidntlikethat: im in one of the wine cellars and it is DAMP AF

letsgolesbians: LOLOLOL

gibbydidntlikethat: but ty charlie ily

letsgolesbians: uwu dw bb

gibbydidntlikethat: ugh does that mean i need to call cupid to take limo #2 eweweweew

letsgolesbians: omg right u have to come to school

gibbydidntlikethat: actuUALLY

gibbydidntlikethat: i wont come to skool like a kool kid LOL cya afterskool

letsgolesbians: ok cya later bih

-

leave u on read bc we hot asf  
Crowley Macleod (mrcrowley)  
Kevin Tran (noarmkevin)  
Meg Masters (deviledmeggs)  
Jo Harvelle (anjollica)  
Bela Talbot (acabela)  
Jessica Moore (tellmemoore)  
Lisa Braeden (hastalalisa)

tuesday, 12:32 PM

anjollica: omg guys the winchesters are sitting with the novaks im sobbing

anjollica: this has big gryffindor/ravenclaw energy rn

noarmkevin: LMAO dont be stupid it’s obviously slytherin energy

anjollica: ugh u rite

anjollica: UGH I WISH I WAS IN THE SAME GRADE AS DEAN JDSAFKALFAFL

anjollica: instead i got sam fucking winchester

deviledmeggs: im going to kill walker hes such a thot

deviledmeggs: he kept me in for like 15 min bc i forgot one fucking paper out of 20

deviledmeggs: im killing him

mrcrowley: lol hmu to clear your tracks

deviledmeggs: lol who else could i ask but u

anjollica: ugh did yall know dean and i were childhood friends but he got too cool for me ugh hghghhgg

noarmkevin: omg WHAT

anjollica: yeAH we used to play together with the stupid bratz dolls all the time dude

tellmemoore: wow destroying toxic male standards we STAN

tellmemoore: also wow did u see sam tho he tied his hair up from the back he looks so fine

tellmemoore: OMG HE JUST PUT ON GLASSES TO WORK ON SMTH WOW HE LOOKS LIKE A MODEL

tellmemoore: LIKE JARED PADALECKI OMG OMGOGMOGOGMG

acabela: who the fuck is jared padalecki

tellmemoore: and i oop-

-

novak empire   
members:  
Charlie Bradbury (letsgolesbians)  
Anna Novak (annaou)  
Balthazar Novak (balthysaur)  
Castiel Novak (catstiel)  
Gabriel Novak (gibbydidntlikethat)  
Michael Novak (michaeljackson)  
Dean Winchester (impalameonastick)  
Jack Kline (jackolantern)

tuesday, 1:59 PM

annaou: (screenshot.png)

annaou: omg sam has an instagram

gibbydidntlikethat: UGH I DONT SEE ONE SHIRTLESS SELFIE AND IM DISAPPOINTED

gibbydidntlikethat: all basic white boys have at least one of those ksfksdfls

impalameonastick: first of all, what the fuck

gibbydidntlikethat: stfu u have like 3 shirtless pics u slut

impalameonastick: i

catstiel: gabriel u made him drop his phone in class and hes about to cry

annaou: that feeling when u didnt realize u were a basic white boy

impalameonastick: CAS U DONT THINK IM A BASIC WHITE BOY DO YOU

catstiel: no :)

catstiel: also guys i finally turned off that auto-cap setting on my phone now i look cooler

letsgolesbians: straight fax

impalameonastick: i cant believe this

impalameonastick: im

impalameonastick: a basic white boy

balthysaur: LMAO u didnt know until now

impalameonastick: lmao bitch u know i can read the chat history right

impalameonastick: i can see all your thirst tweets ab me

jackolantern: i dont think youre a basic white boy dean :)

impalameonastick: its official i can only trust cas and jack

gibbydidntlikethat: anybody wanna get bubble tea after school ill pick yall up with the limo

gibbydidntlikethat: we need to get cupid a thank u card or smth he deals w so much of our shit

michaeljackson: I’ll look into that.

michaeljackson: And yes, I want bubble tea, surprisingly.

annaou: OMG I WANT BBT JSFKSJ

annaou: CHARLIE WANTS SOME TOO SHE’S BESIDE ME

letsgolesbians: (igiveannapeckoncheek.png)

annaou: disgusting

catstiel: dean and i are in

jackolantern: can i come too?

gibbydidntlikethat: ofc

jackolantern: :)

-

the boys  
members:   
Benny Lafitte (bennyboy)  
Dean Winchester (impalameonastick)  
Sam Winchester (ohsammyboy)

tuesday, 2:06 PM

impalameonastick: BITCHES LET’S GET BUBBLE TEA WITH THE NOVAKS

bennyboy: lol aight im down

impalameonastick: god the author hasnt written u in for such a long time she feels bad

ohsammyboy: ? lol ok

ohsammyboy: Is Gabriel going to be there?

impalameonastick: yeah why lol

impalameonastick: OMG U DRESSED UP FOR HIM TODAY DIDNT U

ohsammyboy: I don’t know what you mean

impalameonastick: U WORE GLASSES AND TIED UP YOUR HAIR URE OBVIOUSLY PEACOCKING

bennyboy: oh my god o jakfk

ohsammyboy: I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT DEAN

ohsammyboy: MAYBE I JUST WANTED TO NOT WEAR CONTACTS

impalameonastick: WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH THE REAL SAMMY

ohsammyboy: UGH YOU'RE SUCH A FUCKING JERK DEAN

impalameonastick: SUCK MY ASS BITCH LMAO U LIKEEEEE HIMMMMMM

bennyboy: oh god

-

novak empire   
members:  
Charlie Bradbury (letsgolesbians)  
Anna Novak (annaou)  
Balthazar Novak (balthysaur)  
Castiel Novak (catstiel)  
Gabriel Novak (gibbydidntlikethat)  
Michael Novak (michaeljackson)  
Dean Winchester (impalameonastick)  
Jack Kline (jackolantern)

wednesday, 3:04 PM

impalameonastick: ANNA WHY IS YOUR LESBIAN ON GRINDR

annaou: WHY ARR YOU ON GRINDR

impalameonastick: bc cas dared me to

catstiel: i did uwu

letsgolesbians: ive been caught

annaou: jokes

annaou: i made her put the genderchanging filter on her face

impalameonastick: (screenshot.png)

impalameonastick: charlie can dirty talk wow anna

annaou: im a lucky bitch

balthysaur: well mark me down as scared and horny

gibbydidntlikethat: ^^^ u all the time, 24/7, 365

balthysaur: UGHBSTFU URE SO ANNOYING

gibbydidntlikethat: URE JUST MAD I GOT MAD GAY GAME

jackolantern: guys bles ms mosely is staring at me while talking bc she heard my phone go off a million times

jackolantern: if u have any love for me

impalameonastick: jurys still out

jackolantern: bles

letsgolesbians: guys i do love jack i guess we gotta shut up

gibbydidntlikethat: SPAM HIM LKKOLOLOL

gibbydidntlikethat: lol im in the vents rn bc i didnt want to go to mr rufus' class

gibbydidntlikethat: jack im coming for u im literally on top of your class

impalameonastick: wow we stan

catstiel: hey what??

balthysaur: lol im holding the exit vent open for him

annaou: LMAO

letsgolesbians: ehat the fuck

michaeljackson: GABRIEL NOVAK WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

gibbydidntlikethat: lol i might have to retreat bc the vents are pretty weak

gibbydidntlikethat: they might nkt be able to supoort me sksiiggj rhj vudjke

jackolantern: OH MY GODSH

jackolantern: (gabrieldeadontopofmydesk.png)

jackolantern: GABRIEL FELL THROUGH THE ROOF OMG GLGKGKFLSLSLS

impalameonastick: IM SCREAMING

catstiel: oh ok

balthysaur: PFFFT HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I HEARD IT THROUGH THE VENT THE SOUND HE MADE WAS INHUMAN SKSKKSOSKS

michaeljackson: We have to pay for more damages. >:(

gibbydidntlikethat: a bitch isnt dead

letsgolesbians: WE STAN WE STAN WE STAN

gibbydidntlikethat: HEHEHEHEHHEE

gibbydidntlikethat: anyways jeu7eienvoltp

gibbydidntlikethat: hey this is sam uh ill take him to the nurse's office im p sure he has a concussion

impalameonastick: uwu ok bye

gibbydidntlikethat: add me to the chat you fucking jerk

impalameonastick: that is not in my control, mortal

gibbydidntlikethat: ugh suck my dick

impalameonastick: SAMMY

balthysaur: dude sam is actually Iconic

catstiel: agreed

annaou: i speak for jack, charlie, myself, and michael

annaou: agreed


	8. liquid courage

novak empire   
members:  
Charlie Bradbury (letsgolesbians)  
Anna Novak (annaou)  
Balthazar Novak (balthysaur)  
Castiel Novak (catstiel)  
Gabriel Novak (gibbydidntlikethat)  
Michael Novak (michaeljackson)  
Dean Winchester (impalameonastick)  
Jack Kline (jackolantern)  
saturday, 9:57 PM

impalameonastick: hey baby

catstiel: hello sugarplum

gibbydidntlikethat: yes dear?

balthysaur: i knew u loved me

letsgolesbians: yeah honey

annaou: babe?

jackolantern: hey darling!!

michaeljackson: What do you want, Dean?

impalameonastick:

impalameonastick: what the fuck

gibbydidntlikethat: we’re all sluts for dean winchester

jackolantern: i mean he should take me out to dinner first

impalameonastick: never

jackolantern: why do you hate me so much

catstiel: dean didnt mean that

impalameonastick: eh

catstiel: jack is my son why the hell would u say that

impalameonastick: im sorry please dont leave me

jackolantern:

balthysaur: LEAVE HIM

-

jack protection clan  
members:  
Castiel Novak (catstiel)  
Gabriel Novak (gibbydidntlikethat)  
Anna Novak (annou)  
Charlie Bradbury (letsgolesbians)  
Sam Winchester (ohsammyboy)  
saturday, 9:59 PM

catstiel: i love dean winchester but sometimes he’s just so frickin mean to my son

ohsammyboy: hey what’s the tea

ohsammyboy: did i use that slang right charlie

letsgolesbians: absolutely young padawan

gibbydidntlikethat: he’s being mean to jack in the novak group chat

ohsammyboy: what the fuck dude

ohsammyboy: well he’s baking a pie, whistling and everything so i guess he’s fine with it

annaou: ugh he’s actually a sociopath

annaou: not even a smidge of guilt

ohsammyboy: hey off-topic of us ganging up to kill dean over jack but can i be added to the novak chat

ohsammyboy: not that i have FOMO or anything

gibbydidntlikethat: ah, the fear of missing out

ohsammyboy: yeah

gibbydidntlikethat: r u sure u dont have it

ohsammyboy: (shrug emoji)

gibbydidntlikethat: lol

letsgolesbians: yall boring yayeet

-

im gay you’re gay who’s not gay  
members:   
Gabriel Novak (gibbydidntlikethat)  
Charlie Bradbury (letsgolesbians)  
saturday, 10:03 PM

letsgolesbians: ew your convo with sam in the chat? phew

letsgolesbians: u guys are so awkward im sick

gibbydidntlikethat: IM SORRY I HAVE A MASSIVE CRUSH ON SAM FUCKING WINCHESTER AND DONT KNOW HOW TO ACT FOR ONCE

letsgolesbians: oop chill

letsgolesbians: i get it tho

gibbydidntlikethat: and like,,, when he took me to the nurse he looked like an honest to god angel

gibbydidntlikethat: like i get that our family’s crazy evangelical and shit especially bc of our parents

gibbydidntlikethat: but he seemed so heavenly dude like wow

gibbydidntlikethat: and like,,,,,,,,,, i like him sm but honestly?? idk if he likes meeeee bc im ugly and have a weird nose and i sorta hate myself.. but oh well

letsgolesbians:

letsgolesbians: bb no ilysm u gay bastard

letsgolesbians: u are amazing!!!!! sam would be lucky to have such a quirky bottom like u

letsgolesbians: gosh darn it gabe u literally could buy him im not even joking

letsgolesbians: dude i love u bc u are amazing,, u are so talented,, u are funny and hilarious and amazing to be around,, like omfg how dare you hate yourself!!!!!! I LOVE YOU

gibbydidntlikethat: thanks boo

gibbydidntlikethat: :)

gibbydidntlikethat: .

gibbydidntlikethat: should i slide into his dms

letsgolesbians: YESSSSSSS

gibbydidntlikethat: okay wait let me get some liquid courage and get WASTED

letsgolesbians: NOOOOOOO

-

untitled chat  
saturday, 11:54 PM

Gabriel Novak (gibbydidntlikethat) has added Sam Winchester (ohsammyboy) to the chat.

gibbydidntlikethat: what it doo babeyyyyy

ohsammyboy: ? hi gabriel

gibbydidntlikethat: hey sammy how it be like

ohsammyboy: uh kool

ohsammyboy: im eating some of the pie that dean’s baked and whew it tastes amazing as always

ohsammyboy: uh dont tell him i said that

gibbydidntlikethat: that’s adorable

ohsammyboy: o? thanks i guess

gibbydidntlikethat: no problem

gibbydidntlikethat: anything for u LMAO

ohsammyboy:

gibbydidntlikethat:

gibbydidntlikethat: lol

ohsammyboy: haha that’s funny

-

the boys  
members:   
Benny Lafitte (bennyboy)  
Dean Winchester (impalameonastick)  
Sam Winchester (ohsammyboy)  
saturday, 11:58 PM

ohsammyboy: GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS

bennyboy: lmao what’s up

impalameonastick: im literally right next to u

ohsammyboy: OK BUT I DIDNT TELL U AND BENNY ISNT NEXT TO ME

bennyboy: ok speak

ohsammyboy: (screenshot.png)

impalameonastick: i

impalameonastick: OMFG AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

bennyboy: PFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

impalameonastick: IM CFUCKIGN SOBBING ALMFSKFSDFLKSDJKLFA

bennyboy: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH

ohsammyboy: guys bles

impalameonastick: “lol” “haha that’s funny”

bennyboy: boy my stomach hurtin

impalameonastick: text him back loser

ohsammyboy: idk what to say im pretty sure he’s drunk

impalameonastick: HAHAHAHAAH EVEN BETTER

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S SHORT I KNOW BUT IVE BEEN GOING TO PERSONAL TRAINING AND SUMMER SCHOOL FOR A COURSE IN ADVANCE AND IDK IM TIRED FROM VBALL PLEASE DONT HURT ME MR KRABS


	9. owo ples dont hurt me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys,,,, i love you all so much. so fucking much. heart eyes.

the boys  
members:   
Benny Lafitte (bennyboy)  
Dean Winchester (impalameonastick)  
Sam Winchester (ohsammyboy)  
tuesday, 2:09 PM

ohsammyboy: GUYS

bennyboy: i know u mean just me bc im not w u gays atm

bennyboy: guys**

bennyboy: eh same thing

impalameonastick: LMAO

ohsammyboy: gabe just asked me if i wanted to get bubble tea w him ._.

impalameonastick: his big dummy question is if he should go

impalameonastick: it’s been a minute, more as we speak

impalameonastick: gabe will get sus

bennyboy: jfc just go lmao

bennyboy: dean can i swing by your place to hang after

impalameonastick: good timin

impalameonastick: cas has a deca meeting :(

bennyboy: cas reminds me of my crazy aunt

impalameonastick: LE GASP

impalameonastick: lol he lowkey has the same fashion sense tho ngl

bennyboy: yeah, the trenchcoat

impalameonastick: cas says he’d like to meet your aunt someday

bennyboy: me say no

ohsammyboy: welp guess i’m getting bubble tea after school

-

leave u on read bc we hot asf  
Crowley Macleod (mrcrowley)  
Kevin Tran (noarmkevin)  
Meg Masters (deviledmeggs)  
Jo Harvelle (anjollica)  
Bela Talbot (acabela)  
Jessica Moore (tellmemoore)  
Lisa Braeden (hastalalisa)  
tuesday, 3:16 PM

Kevin Tran (noarmkevin) has changed the chat name to “winchester novak stans”.

noarmkevin: the author's gotten tired of spellin out that long ass gc name

deviledmeggs: lol wut

noarmkevin: shut up meg

deviledmeggs: :/ bitch

tellmemoore: aww i saw sam getting into the novak’s limo w gabriel!!1 they’re dating i s2g

anjollica: wow i always thought sam and jess would be together

tellmemoore: ew no we’re just childhood friends and current besties yall are gross

anjollica: wait

anjolica: YOU WERE?? BUT I NEVER SAW U W THEM

tellmemoore: well that’s bc i didnt really like u teehee

anjollica:

anjollica: fair enough, i was a bitchy kid

mrcrowley: u still are

anjollica: SHUT UP YOU EDGY HOE

mrcrowley: lol k

acabela: oh ew i see sam and novak

acabela: they just walked into my local haunt

deviledmeggs: just say favourite bubbletea store, nobodys gonna kill u

acabela: im not telling you which one i go to lmao

deviledmeggs: i already know

acabela:

acabela: fuck

anjollica: yall wanna go to mcdonalds rn

noarmkevin: yeah sure my mom’s not home today anyways

mrcrowley: want me to come too?

anjollica: i said “yall” dumbass ofc i do

mrcrowley: lol k

acabela: do u broke bitches want me to bring u something from the store

tellmemoore: PASSIONFRUIT TEA WITH LYCHEE JELLY!!

noarmkevin: ^^ me too that stuff is amazing

anjollica: lol everybody in this chat likes it

acabela: okay broke hoes ill get one for each of you on me

acabela: im feeling nice so you dont have to pay me back

hastalalisa: i dont think i can go sorry

tellmemoore: aww why :(((

hastalalisa: ...

hastalalisa: omfg jessica just bc i hang out w u doesnt mean i have to be with u all the time okay

tellmemoore:

noarmkevin: hey lisa back the fuck off

anjollica: that was uncalled for dude wtf

mrcrowley: pull that shit again and ill call my men on you

hastalalisa: fuck you

hastalalisa: i dont even know why im in this chat you guys are so annoying

deviledmeggs: watch yourself braeden

hastalalisa: you guys literally dont scare me i have the whole football team on my side lmao

hastalalisa: well except for dean and his boyfriend but like whatever he sucks dick

hastalalisa: god so fucking irritating just being here

hastalalisa: and jessica?? dont feel like hanging out w u anymore :) have a nice life

Lisa Braeden (hastalalisa) has left the chat.

acabela: im jumping her dw guys

tellmemoore: now i really want that bubble tea fuck me

acabela: omw bb everyone meet up at mcds

anjollica: i knew there was something wrong with her

anjollica: SHE’S A WHOLE ASS BITCH!!

noarmkevin: wow can’t believe it

noarmkevin: i feel bad for her now tho

noarmkevin: hurting the cinnamon roll of our group?? a sin

noarmkevin: crowley and bela are going to jump her butt so badly im literally cringing

acabela: hurry your slow ass up we’re waiting for u at mcds already

noarmkevin: oh omw

-

sam and gabe shipping clan  
members:  
Dean Winchester (impalameonastick)  
Castiel Novak (catstiel)  
Benny Lafitte (bennyboy)  
Charlie Bradbury (letsgolesbians)  
Anna Novak (annaou)  
Kevin Tran (noarmkevin)  
Crowley Macleod (mrcrowley)  
Jessica Moore (tellmemoore)  
Jack Kline (jackolantern)  
tuesday, 3:24 PM

  
noarmkevin: bela saw targets go into a bbt store together after being dropped off by a limo LOL

mrcrowley: who wants to jump older winchester’s ex

impalameonastick: whoa wait what?

noarmkevin: (screenshot.png)

impalameonastick:

catstiel: :/ wow

jackolantern: WHAT A B

jackolantern: BAD PERSON

annaou: you are legally not even allowed to say any cuss words wtf

jackolantern: uwu

jackolantern: but that’s pretty messed up :(

jackolantern: jess u ok?

tellmemoore: :( im doing fine, thanks jack

tellmemoore: bela got us all bubble tea

bennyboy: idk ab u guys but im all for jumping her

bennyboy: i didnt really like her when dean was dating her

impalameonastick: wow thanks

bennyboy: uk what i mean

tellmemoore: LOL BENNY

tellmemoore: im gonna focus on my hanging out w friends now bye

jackolantern: bye!!!

impalameonastick: i mean lol i didnt really like her either

noarmkevin: god what is this tea

impalameonastick: she’s high-key toxic, even now

impalameonastick: did yall know she even faked being pregnant just to see my reaction

impalameonastick:

jackolantern: oh gosh

letsgolesbians: WHAT THE FUCK

letsgolesbians: U JUST TOLD ME THAT SHE SHOWED A PREGNANCY TEST AND U WERE SCARED

impalameonastick: gee why dont u yell louder i think there was a person in australia in a coma that didnt hear u

catstiel: dear :(

mrcrowley: haha wow so much blackmail material

impalameonastick: lmao u like me too much to blackmail me

mrcrowley: fuck

impalameonastick: oop gotta go the prince is calling

catstiel: i said to not call me that

jackolantern: wait guys i know this makes me sound dumb but what do u guys mean by jumping

jackolantern: is it like

jackolantern: u guys hop on her?

jackolantern: start a fight w her?

jackolantern: cyberbullying??? i honestly DO NOT know i am perplexed

letsgolesbians:

letsgolesbians: god ure so cute i could SQUEEZE U

jackolantern: owo? ples dont hurt me

jackolantern: but seriously what is it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aight hope u enjoyed this and not lisa
> 
> also!! i love lisa!! but the lisa in my story is,, bad,, im sorry,,,


	10. JUMP JUMP JUMP

novak empire  
members:  
Charlie Bradbury (letsgolesbians)  
Anna Novak (annaou)  
Balthazar Novak (balthysaur)  
Castiel Novak (catstiel)  
Gabriel Novak (gibbysays)  
Michael Novak (michaeljackson)  
Dean Winchester (impalameonastick)  
Jack Kline (jackolantern)  
wednesday, 11:42 PM

balthysaur: guys? stan hasan minhaj right fucking now. right now  
gibbysays: yall hear smth  
balthysaur: who the fuck are you  
baltysaur: oh gabriel just changed his name  
annaou: oh shit  
annaou: a name change from GABRIEL  
jackolantern: wait whats so weird about a name change  
catstiel: uh oh  
letsgolesbians: LMAO HE LIKES SOMEONE AND WENT OUT ONA DATE W THEM OWOWOWOWOWOWO  
jackolantern: it’s funny how im not even a furry but i say owo and uwu a lot and im glad it’s catching on  
impalameonastick: i should change my name too lmao it’s long as fuck and i made it up in 6th grade  
michaeljackson: Hasan Minhaj is the most woke and outspeaking person I have ever had the pleasure of watching on Netflix.  
michaeljackson: So yes, I “stan”.  
balthysaur: WATCH HIS FUCKING SHOW CALLED PATRIOT ACT ON NETFLIX RIGHT FUCKING NOW  
balthysaur: anyways ew who’s the thot that gabe is chasing  
annaou: you know who  
gibbysays: stfu  
impalameonastick: lmfao even i know dont even PFFT  
michaeljackson: Why won’t you just tell us?  
gibbysays: why r u overminding your business bitch  
jackolantern: i hollered  
letsgolesbians: oof crowley just dmed me saying that he was going to jump lisa tmrw after school eye-  
annaou: she deserves it  
balthysaur: what did my ex bestie say  
letsgolesbians: (screenshotx2.png)  
balthysaur: omfg chair make it electric  
balthysaur: i literally cannot believe it  
balthysaur: i am the EDGIEST of all u bitches and i would never EVER say that to jessica fucking moore  
balthysaur: she is a saint and deserves everything  
impalameonastick: amen  
catsiel: amen  
letsgolesbians: amen  
annaou: preach  
michaeljackson: Absolutely.  
jackolantern: yes!! she helped me with my math hw and bless her heart mwah  
gibbysays: shit hell yeah dude  
balthysaur: NO MERCY  
impalameonastick: i mean maybe a little mercy  
balthysaur: NO FUCKIN MERCY DEAN IF I CAN TURN ON MY EX BEST FRIEND U CAN TURN ON YOUR EX  
catstiel: no mercy  
impalameonastick: babe  
letsgolesbians: NO MERCY  
annaou: no mercy i guess  
michaeljackson: I don’t condone violence.  
michaeljackson: But curb stomp that bitch.  
gibbysays: jesus LMAO

-

untitled chat  
members:  
Dean Winchester (impalameonastick)  
Lisa Braeden (hastalalisa)  
wednesday, 11:52 PM

hastalalisa: hey dean ;))  
hastalalisa: how’s it going :)  
impalameonastick:  
impalameonastick: uh ok? why  
hastalalisa: cant a girl just check in? haha  
impalameonastick: uh k  
hastalalisa:  
hastalalisa: what do u think ab jessica moore lol  
impalameonastick: she’s your friend? idk  
hastalalisa: no i mean  
hastalalisa: like personality wise like do u like her  
impalameonastick: lisa im dating cas :/  
hastalalisa: lol whatever yall are only temporary ure as straight as a ruler  
hastalalisa has deleted a message.  
impalameonastick: what was that message  
hastalalisa: dont worry ab it!!  
hastalalisa: ok but like  
hastalalisa: do u think she’s an ok person  
impalameonastick:

-

novak empire  
members:  
Charlie Bradbury (letsgolesbians)  
Anna Novak (annaou)  
Balthazar Novak (balthysaur)  
Castiel Novak (catstiel)  
Gabriel Novak (gibbysays)  
Michael Novak (michaeljackson)  
Dean Winchester (impalameonastick)  
Jack Kline (jackolantern)  
wednesday, 11:53 PM  
  
impalameonastick: (screenshot.png)  
impalameonastick: NO FUCKING MERCY  
impalameonastick: WHY AM I GETTING THE TEA THIS TIME LOL  
impalameonastick: i also swear i saw her send a message saying cas and i are temporary and then she deleted it just as quick  
balthysaur: wow winchester can deliver  
catstiel:  
impalameonastick: uh oh  
michaeljackson: She’s so…  
michaeljackson: What do you guys say?  
gibbysays: shady  
michaeljackson: Shady.  
letsgolesbians: guys lets just jump her lmao

-

winchester novak stans  
Crowley Macleod (mrcrowley)  
Kevin Tran (noarmkevin)  
Meg Masters (deviledmeggs)  
Jo Harvelle (anjollica)  
Bela Talbot (acabela)  
Jessica Moore (tellmemoore)  
thursday, 9:34 AM

noarmkevin: WHY THE FUCK DID I JUST SEE CROWLEY LEADING A HORDE OF SCARY SENIORS TO THE SCIENCE WING  
acabela: im there too uwu  
deviledmeggs: me too hoe  
noarmkevin: WHY  
acabela: ?? we didnt tell u guys?  
noarmkevin: OBVIOUSLY NOT WHY ELSE WOULD I BE FREAKING OUT  
mrcrowley: we’re jumping a bitch  
tellmemoore: oh my god no  
deviledmeggs: lmao why not jess lisa’s a bitch  
tellmemoore: guys no she might be a bitch but she’s still my friend  
mrcrowley: SHE ISN’T YOUR FUCKING FRIEND ANYMORE  
acabela: honey she doesnt deserve u and u dont deserve having to put up with all of her shit  
tellmemoore:  
tellmemoore: you kno what?? I DON’T  
deviledmeggs: THAT’S THE SPIRIT  
mrcrowley: WE CONTINUE ON OUR WAR PATH  
acabela: dead meat  
anjollica: DOWN WITH THE WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST  
mrcrowley: west*  
anjollica:  
anjollica: we’ll talk ab that later  
mrcrowley: it’s west but go off i guess  
mrcrowley: whoops gtg we just found her class and the teacher is ab to shit their pants LMAO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys nobody told me sophomore year would be so fucking hard 
> 
> also the formatting is wack! we'll return to the OG formatting next chapter!!
> 
> IM GONNA WRITE MORE I SWEAR IM GONNA WRITE MORE I SWEAR IM GONNA WRITE MORE-
> 
> i didnt. fuck. listen guys, ill try to update whenever i can. since it's a long weekend, maybe i can post more? owo? we shall see. again, I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH AND STAY LIT


	11. lowkey tho

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sup babies please dont leave me

winchester novak stans  
members:  
Crowley Macleod (mrcrowley)  
Kevin Tran (noarmkevin)  
Meg Masters (deviledmeggs)  
Jo Harvelle (anjollica)  
Bela Talbot (acabela)  
Jessica Moore (tellmemoore)  
thursday, 10:16 AM

mrcrowley: fuckisakafaig run bitches run

deviledmeggs: I AM WHAT SNMAKE S IYUT HTINK IM NOT U STUPID HEOO HSAFA

acabela: lol i already escaped 

acabela: im at the chilis nearby

anjollica: nearby?? bitch thats 10 miles away

noarmkevin: holy shit what happened

anjollica: yes, tell us responsible students what happened

mrcrowley: ARE YOU REALLY AHSFJS THAT ORESPONDSIBLE IF URE TECTING IN CLASS

deviledmeggs: YEAHS HTASASHOLES

acabela: keep running bitches

acabela: see if there’s any fries left when you get here

tellmemoore: omg did u guys actually beat her up in class

mrcrowley: NO SHIT

acabela: one by one, my fries are disappearing

mrcrowley: STOP MY FATASS IS RUNNING AS FAST AS IT CAN

acabela: that’s more like it

-

novak empire  
members:  
Charlie Bradbury (letsgolesbians)  
Anna Novak (annaou)  
Balthazar Novak (balthysaur)  
Castiel Novak (catstiel)  
Gabriel Novak (gibbysays)  
Michael Novak (michaeljackson)  
Dean Winchester (impalameonastick)  
Jack Kline (jackolantern)  
thursday, 10:20 AM 

jackolantern: GUYS OMG 

impalameonastick: wazza

jackolantern: IM SHOOK

balthysaur: tea

annaou: tea

letsgolesbians: tea

gibbysays: tea

michaeljackson: Ah, the hivemind in action.

balthysaur: shut up hetero

impalameonastick: WHAT’S FUCKING UP DUDE

catstiel: yes please tell us :)

jackolantern: IM IN THE SAMW CLASS AS LISA AND I JUST SAW HER ASS GET BEAT BY CROWLEY AND HIS DUDEDS

jackolantern: I SWEAR I SAW MEG AND BELA TOO BUT NO ONE BELIEVES ME

jackolantern: SHE’S LITERALLY BEING SURROUNDED BY THE SCHOOL NURSES AS WE SPEAK

michaeljackson: I feel nothing for her. :/

impalameonastick: holy shit this tea is scaaaalding 

catstiel: wow

letsgolesbians: SHE DESERVES IT

balthysaur: but is she ok lmao like is she bleeding out and dying

jackolantern: have some sympathy she just got beat up 

jacklantern: she has a black eye 

annaou: WAIT RIGHT OR LEFT EYE

jackolantern: wait what

letsgolesbians: JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION

jackolantern: LEFT 

annaou: AWWWW YEAH YALL GOTTA PAY US UPPPP

impalameonastick: HELL YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

gibbysays: fuck

balthysaur: damn it 

michaeljackson: Anna and Dean are… millionaires… because of us… 

catstiel: me too bc i said left eye too 

impalameonastick: my husband and i are rich

catstiel: :)

gibbysays:

gibbysays: YOUR WHAT????????????1

balthysaur: wasn’t cassie being pissed off about lisa talking to dean like that

impalameonastick: yeah and i blew his dick so good he wanted to marry me

impalameonastick: im thinking a fall wedding

balthysaur: AHJSAJFHAHAHS

jackolantern: ew my dads are fucking

impalameonastick: ew my kid’s adopted

jackolantern:

jackolantern: DAD

catstiel: DEAN WHAT THE FUCK

gibbysays: LMAOOOOOOO

letsgolesbians: LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO

annaou: LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

-

ex-besties  
members:  
Lisa Braeden (hastalalisa)  
Jessica Moore (tellmemoore)  
thursday, 12:23 PM

hastalalisa: YOU SICK BITCH

tellmemoore: ??? what??

hastalalisa: YOU FUCKING SICED YOUR DOGS ONTO ME 

hastalalisa: I HAVE A BEAUTY PAGEANT COMING UP AND YOU KNEW I WAS EXCITED ABOUT THIS ONE BECAUSE IT’S ONE OF THE MOST RENOWNED ONES IN AMERICA

hastalalisa: FUCK YOU 

hastalalisa: THE FUCKING NERVE OF YOU

tellmemoore: I DIDNT SIC THEM ONTO U 

hastalalisa: IDGAF IM IN HOSPITAL 

hastalalisa: ARE YOU GOING TO PAY MY BILLS, HOE?

hastalalisa: YOUR SO FUCKING DUMB YOU PROBABLY SLEEP AROUND WITH THE TEACHERS FOR YOUR GRADES

tellmemoore: 

tellmemoore: you’re*

hastalalisa: YOU STUPID SLUT 

hastalalisa: IM GOING TO FUCKING SUE YOU

hastalalisa: JUST YOU FUCKING WAIT

-

winchester novak stans  
members:  
Crowley Macleod (mrcrowley)  
Kevin Tran (noarmkevin)  
Meg Masters (deviledmeggs)  
Jo Harvelle (anjollica)  
Bela Talbot (acabela)  
Jessica Moore (tellmemoore)  
thursday, 12:36 PM

tellmemoore: (screenshotx2.png)

mrcrowley:

mrcrowley: she never learns does she

deviledmeggs: my blood… BOILING

anjollica: i miss the days where we would just thirst after the winchesters

noarmkevin: me too lowkey

acabela: me too highkey

acabela: but they’re all taken now :( 

tellmemoore: oh sam got a partenaire?

anjollica: dean told me sam has the hots for gabe

noarmkevin: NEW OTP NEW OTP NEW OTP

anjollica: i ship it lowkey

-

don’t stop me now  
members:  
Gabriel Novak (gibbysays)  
Sam Winchester (ohsammyboy)  
thursday, 12:39 PM

ohsammyboy: do you ever get the feeling that you’re being talked about?

gibbysays: as amazing as i am, constantly sammy 

ohsammyboy: lol

gibbysays: so where we going to today

ohsammyboy: what

gibbysays: i want to take you somewhere, anywhere 

ohsammyboy:

-

the boys  
members:  
Benny Lafitte (bennyboy)  
Dean Winchester (impalameonastick)  
Sam Winchester (ohsammyboy)  
thursday, 12:40 PM

ohsammyboy: (screenshot.png)

ohsammyboy: dean is this what it’s like to be in love

bennyboy: dude it’s so obvious who’s the bottom lmao

impalameonastick: ikr

bennyboy has deleted a message.

impalameonastick has deleted a message. 

ohsammyboy: ?

impalameonastick: shut up 

ohsammyboy: fuck you suck my toe

bennyboy: with pleasure

ohsammyboy: gross 

impalameonastick: HE FREAKYY

impalameonastick: hurry up and reply you dumb fuck

ohsammyboy: whatever jerk

-

don’t stop me now  
members:  
Gabriel Novak (gibbysays)  
Sam Winchester (ohsammyboy)  
thursday, 12:42 PM

ohsammyboy: you can take me anywhere lol im good with anythin as long as you’re there :)

gibbysays:

-

novak empire  
members:  
Charlie Bradbury (letsgolesbians)  
Anna Novak (annaou)  
Balthazar Novak (balthysaur)  
Castiel Novak (catstiel)  
Gabriel Novak (gibbysays)  
Michael Novak (michaeljackson)  
Dean Winchester (impalameonastick)  
Jack Kline (jackolantern)  
thursday, 12:42 PM

gibbysays: (screenshot.png)

gibbysays: get me the ring maker we have 

michaeljackson: Absolutely not.

gibbysays: fuck u dont patronize me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HAVE NOT ABANDONED IT I REPEAT I HAVE NOT ABANDONED


	12. VALENTINE'S DAY (LATE)

novak empire  
members:  
Charlie Bradbury (letsgolesbians)  
Anna Novak (annaou)  
Balthazar Novak (balthysaur)  
Castiel Novak (catstiel)  
Gabriel Novak (gibbysays)  
Michael Novak (michaeljackson)  
Dean Winchester (impalameonastick)  
Jack Kline (jackolantern)  
friday, 2:14 PM

balthysaur: i fucking hate valentine’s day

gibbysays: haha nerd

balthysaur: SHUT THE FUUUUUCK UPPPPPPP

balthysaur: EVEN GABRIEL HAS A FUCKING BOO NOW

gibbysays: teehee bitch

jackolantern: it’s okay!! not everybody needs a man/gal!! 

balthysaur: you’re literally too soft for me to say anything 

catstiel: lel

annaou: anyways charlie and i are back to being the queens of valentines day

balthysaur: FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUU

balthysaur: i just need love

balthysaur: (it’saboutthelonging.png)

gibbysays: i love that meme

balthysaur: SEE EVER SINCE GABITCH HAS STARTED TO DATE SAM WINCHESTER

balthysaur: HE’S BEING TOO FUCKING NICE

balthysaur: EVEN TO ME

michaeljackson: I haven’t dated anybody yet. Don’t worry about it.

balthysaur: FUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOUUUUUU

balthysaur: YOU’RE THE FUCKING SECOND-IN-COMMAND AFTER DEAN IN FOOTBALL

balthysaur: YOU’RE DROWNING IN HOES

michaeljackson: Someone is insecure about being independent. :/

gibbysays: LELELELEL IM HAPPY ME HAPPY

gibbysays: (holdinghands.png)

balthysaur: IM COMING TO BEAT YOUR ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

impalameonastick: i used to be like that whew

catstiel: but im here now :)

impalameonastick: mwah

balthysaur: NO ONE IS SAFE

-

winchester novak stans  
members:  
Crowley Macleod (mrcrowley)  
Kevin Tran (noarmkevin)  
Meg Masters (deviledmeggs)  
Jo Harvelle (anjollica)  
Bela Talbot (acabela)  
Jessica Moore (tellmemoore)  
friday, 2:10 pm

noarmkevin: i hate

tellmemoore: i love

noarmkevin: valentines day

tellmemoore: valentines day

tellmemoore: :0

noarmkevin: :0

acabela: i vibe w it sometimes

deviledmeggs: i dont fuck with valentines day

noarmkevin: YES!! PERIODT

deviledmeggs: valentines day haters unite

tellmemoore: i just think it’s neat :)

deviledmeggs:

deviledmeggs: fine i think it’s okay

noarmkevin: TRAITOR

-

snoop dogs only fans  
members:  
Meg Masters (deviledmeggs)  
Crowley Macleod (mrcrowley)  
friday, 2:11 pm

mrcrowley: GAYYYYYYY

deviledmeggs: SHUT UPPPPPPPP

mrcrowley: you’re not even bothering to hide it now. pathetic lesbian

deviledmeggs: SHUT UP

mrcrowley: hey it’s okay you couldve done worse lel

deviledmeggs: ure absolutely right but she is the BEST

deviledmeggs: man she’s just so pretty and nice and soft and UGHGHGHG

deviledmeggs: I WANNA HOL DHER HAND

mrcrowley: ew

mrcrowley: i have a reputation

deviledmeggs: ME TOO BUT U DNT SEE ME BEING EDGY

mrcrowley: lol ok 

mrcrowley: ask her the fuck out for valentine’s then u stupid hoe

deviledmeggs: okay but im just. i m scared of being rejected

mrcrowley: that’s a part of life dont be stupid

deviledmeggs: 

deviledmeggs: u know what? ure absolutely right. im asking her out

mrcrowley: good hoe

deviledmeggs: dont fucking patronize me

mrcrowley: and she’s back

-

zeppelin rocks  
members:  
Dean Winchester (impalameonastick)  
Castiel Novak (catstiel)  
friday, 3:04 pm

impalameonastick: help me with question4 ik you’re already done but please bb

catstiel: ok. send me a photo.

impalameonastick: (helpmehunny.png)

catstiel: i’ll help you on one condition.

impalameonastick: I DIDNT DO ANY DRUGS I SWEAR DONT HURT ME

catstiel: what? 

impalameonastick:

impalameonastick: i love u

catstiel: i love you too but THAT’S BESIDES THE POINT

impalameonastick: :0

catstiel: after school 

catstiel: come back to my house with me

catstiel: we’ll get dressed up 

catstiel: and let’s have dinner :)

impalameonastick:

impalameonastick: OKAY

-

the boys  
members:   
Benny Lafitte (bennyboy)  
Dean Winchester (impalameonastick)  
Sam Winchester (ohsammyboy)  
friday, 3:15 pm

impalameonastick: guys i have a date

ohsammyboy: im hanging out with barry, kevin, and gabe

ohsammyboy: im introducing him to dungeons and dragoons

bennyboy: nerds i have a date too u guys aint special

impalameonastick: you WHAT

bennyboy: yeah i got moves :p

impalameonastick: who the fuck

bennyboy: hehe 

bennyboy: you probably know her though i think she hangs around the novaks

impalameonastick:

impalameonastick: CROWLEY?????????

bennyboy: BITCH I CLEARLY SAID SHE********

impalameonastick: 

impalameonastick: MEGAN?

bennyboy: WHO THE FUCK IS MEGAN

impalameonastick: I DON’T KNOW

bennyboy: IM HANGING OUT WITH BELA YOU STUPID BITCH

ohsammyboy: sorry i didnt reply yet i forgot to check my phone 

ohsammyboy:

ohsammyboy: YOU WHAT

bennyboy: IM ACTUALLY OFFENDED

bennyboy: WHAT, DID U THINK ID BE ALONE FOREVER

impalameonastick: YEAH KINDA ACTUALLY 

ohsammyboy: YOU’RE KINDA JUST A PLOT DEVICE FOR THE AUTHOT LOWKEY

bennyboy: SHUT THE FUCK UUUUUP 

bennyboy: i just love her sm i have heart eyes everytime i see her

bennyboy: ive had the biggest crush on her for the longest time man i just 

bennyboy: :)

ohsammyboy: that’s sweet 

impalameonastick: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwww

bennyboy: IM GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS

-

we hold this household together  
members:  
Castiel Novak (catstiel)  
Michael Novak (michaeljackson)  
friday, 6:29 pm

catstiel: dean says thank you for the reservations

michaeljackson: Tell him I said, “No problem.”

catstiel: of course

catstiel: dean asked me to ask you why you don’t have a date today. 

michaeljackson: 

michaeljackson: WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP ASKING ME THAT?! MAYBE I JUST DON’T WANT TO EVER BE IN A RELATIONSHIP. 

michaeljackson: Hm. It seems to me that this subject is a trigger for me.

catstiel:

catstiel: we have to talk once i get home :) 

catstiel: let’s chat later

michaeljackson: Very well. Apologies.

catstiel: do not worry :)

-

novak empire  
members:  
Charlie Bradbury (letsgolesbians)  
Anna Novak (annaou)  
Balthazar Novak (balthysaur)  
Castiel Novak (catstiel)  
Gabriel Novak (gibbysays)  
Michael Novak (michaeljackson)  
Dean Winchester (impalameonastick)  
Jack Kline (jackolantern)  
friday, 8:29 pm

michaeljackson: I have an announcement to make.

annaou: IS WOMAN LOVING WEDNESDAY FINALLY MAKING A COMEBACK

michaeljackson: What? No. Charlie just put up pictures of Belladonna.

impalameonastick: the porn star?

letsgolesbians: YEAH DUDE

impalameonastick: YEAHHHHHH

catstiel: guys

catstiel: pay attention

michaeljackson: I have come to realize that I am, in fact, asexual.

gibbysays: HELL YEAH

jackolantern: WOWOWOWOW CONGRATS

balthysaur: i support u u stupid stuck up bitch

catstiel: :)

annaou: CHARLIE IS CURRENTLY TRYING TO FORCE ME TO LOOK AT PICTURES OF THE PORNSTAR BUT

annaou: I SPEAK FOR THE BOTH OF US WHEN WE SAY WE SUPPORT U

gibbysays: HAPPY VALENTINE’S EVERYBODY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter just would not. upload i have no idea why and im super pissed i didnt notice until now that it wasnt up because i posted this on EXACTLY valentines and it just didnt tell me that it didnt properly upload BUT ANYWAYS HERE U G


End file.
